tattletale

I haz shifted.

2010-06-18T22:46:00.000+05:30

I've moved.

Go find me. :)

2010-04-21T18:48:00.001+05:30

Hi.

Anyone home?

Getting pseudo-philo at Cha Bar

2009-06-28T20:17:00.004+05:30

It's all a stupid game. You don't know where the end is, but you have to keep playing. You don't know how to win, but you know how you can lose.

And she said she got me, in a weird sort of way. =P

Tag-di Kabab. [Oh go on, laugh]

2009-06-22T18:48:00.003+05:30

[x] yourself!

YOUR BOY SIDE—
[x] You love hoodies. [So bad ass. =P]
[x] You love jeans. [When they're not pink]
[x] Dogs are better than cats. [Cats are creepy. There was this cat who used to sneak into my cupboard in the winters. Everyday. For a week. And I'd open the door in the morning, half asleep, and this furry thing would jump out. There wasn't any need to use an alarm clock in the house that week. I was loud.]
[] It’s hilarious when people get hurt.
[] Shopping is torture. [Excuse me? Shopping is the greatest sport EVER.]
[] Sad movies stink.
[] You own a car racing game.
[x] You played with Hot Wheels cars as a kid.
[] At some point in time you wanted to be a fire-fighter.
[] You owned a DS, PS2, N64,or Sega.
[x] You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.
[x] You have watched sports on TV.
[] Gory movies are cool.
[] You go to your dad for advice.
[] You own like a trillion baseball caps.
[] You used to collect hockey cards. [Pokemon? WWE? Tazoes?]
[x] Baggy sweats are cool to wear.
[] It’s kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.
[x] Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors.
[x] You love to go crazy and not care what people think.
[x] Sports are fun.
[x] You talk with food in your mouth.
[] You sleep with your socks on at night. [Ugh. Sweaty.]
[] You have fished at least once

YOUR GIRL SIDE—
[x] You love to shop. [Therapy?]
[x] You wear eyeliner. [DON'T make those eyes.]
[x] You wear the color pink. [I have um, pink shoes.]
[] You go to your mom to talk.
[] You consider cheerleading a sport.
[] You hate wearing the color black.
[x] You like going to the mall.
[]You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.
[x] You like wearing jewelry. [Earrings. Six of them. =D]
[] You cried watching The Notebook.
[x] Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.
[x] Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.
[x] You don’t like the movie Star Wars. [Going by fifteen minutes of one. I not understand Inglis.]
[] You are/were in gymnastics.
[x] It takes you around one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up. [Or more.]
[x] You smile a lot more than you should.
[x] You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.
[x] You care about what you look like.
[x] You like wearing dresses when you can. [Um, sometimes.]
[x] You like wearing high heel shoes. [When I don't trip. =P]
[] You used to play with dolls as little kid. [I was almost a guy as a kid. Once, and I'm not kidding, there was this guy who I'd just met, who talked to me for an hour. Cars, wrestling and suchlike. Then, my cuz came in and yelled, "Didiiiii!" And this guy goes, "YOU'RE A GIRL!?! "]
[x] You like putting make-up on others. [Others being the keyword. =P]
[] You like being the star of everything.
[] Pink is one of your favourite colors.

Appearance •

[x] I am shorter than 5′5″. [One inch. :/]
[] I have many scars.
[x] I tan/ burn easily.
[] I wish my hair was a different color.
[] I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
[] I have a tattoo.
[x] I am self-conscious about my appearance.
[] I’ve had/have braces.
[] I’ve been told I’m attractive by a complete stranger. [The day that happens, I'd have had plastic surgery.]
[x] I have more than two piercings. [Four more than two.]
[] I have / had piercings in places besides my ears.

• Embarrassment •

[x] I’ve slipped out a “lol” in a spoken conversation.
[] Disney movies still make me cry.
[x] I’ve snorted while laughing.
[x] I’ve laughed so hard I’ve cried. [Every single time.]
[] I’ve glued my hand to something.
[x] I’ve laughed ’til some kind of beverage came out of my nose. [And mouth. Lime soda.]
[] I’ve had my pants rip in public.

• Health •

[] I’ve gotten stitches.
[x] Broken a bone. [When I was four. I think.]
[] I’ve had my tonsils removed
[] I’ve sat in a doctor’s office with a friend.
[] I’ve had my wisdom teeth removed.
[] I’ve had serious surgery.
[] I’ve had chicken pox.

• Traveling •

[x] I’ve driven / ridden over 200 miles in one day. [We had to go from Birmingham to this place called Barnsdale. We reached somewhere near Manchester.]
[] I’ve been to Canada.
[] I’ve been to Cuba.
[] I’ve been to Niagara Falls.
[] I’ve been to Ottawa.
[] I’ve gone to Sudbury.
[] I’ve been to the Caribbean.
[x] I’ve been to Europe. [Espana. On the beach at Malaga with both my grandmums. =P]
[] I’ve been to Florida.

• Experiences •

[x] I’ve gotten lost in my city. [My city is the size of a small country.]
[x] I’ve seen a shooting star.
[x] I’ve wished on a shooting star. [Kuchh Kuchh Hota Hai OD. =P]
[] I’ve seen a meteor shower. [I wish. :(]
[x] I’ve gone out in public in my pyjamas.
[x] I’ve pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
[] I’ve kicked a guy where it hurts.
[x] I’ve been to a casino.
[] I’ve been skydiving. [I want. :(]
[] I’ve gone skinny-dipping.
[] I’ve drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
[] I’ve crashed a car.
[] I’ve been skiing.
[x] I’ve been in a musical. [When I was nine. If you count an appearance in a teacher's kurta that reached my feet, dancing to, "Rejoice, rejoice, rejoice; come let us praise the Lord!" as being in a musical. Oh, and I was carrying one of those Arabian brass flasks.]
[] I’ve caught a snowflake or snow on my tongue.
[] I’ve seen the Northern Lights.
[x] I’ve sat on a rooftop at night.
[x] I’ve played a prank on someone.
[x] I’ve ridden in a taxi.
[] I’ve seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
[] I’ve eaten Sushi. [Vegetarian.]
[] I’ve been snowboarding. [Snow tyring?]

• Relationships •

[x] I’m single. [And.. yes.]
[] I’m in a relationship.
[] I’m engaged.
[] I’m married.
[] I miss someone right now.
[ ] I’ve gotten divorce.
[] I’ve told someone I loved them when I didn’t.
[] I’ve told someone I didn’t love them when I did.

• Honesty / Crime •

[] I’ve done something I promised someone else I wouldn’t.
[x] I’ve done something I promised myself I wouldn’t. [And it didn't turn out good.]
[] I’ve snuck out.
[] I’ve lied to my parents about where I am.
[x] I’ve cheated while playing a game.
[] I’ve ran a red light.
[] I’ve witnessed a crime.
[x] I’ve been in a fist fight.
[] I’ve been arrested.

• Death and Suicide •
[x] I’m afraid of dying. [I had those nightmares when I was ten. *cringes*]
[x] I hate funerals.
[] I’ve seen someone / something dying.
[x] Someone close to me has attempted / committed suicide.
[] I’ve written a eulogy for myself.

• Materialism •
[] I own over 5 rap CD’s.
[] I have an unhealthy obsession with anime
[] I own REAL designer purses, costing over $100 a piece.
[] I own something from Pac Sun.
[] I collected comic books.
[] I own something from The Gap.
[] I own something I got on E-Bay.
[] I own something from Abercrombie.

[And I am... not materialistic at all. Wow.]

• Random •

[] I can sing well. [See previous post. =P]
[] Stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant. [No, but I know someone who would.]
[] I open up to others easily. [Ha.]
[x] I watch the news.
[x] I don’t kill bugs. [If I can help it. Bugs are cool. They don't say stupid things like humans.]
[x] I sing in the shower. [But I turn up the radio to drown it. See point one.]
[x] I am a morning person.
[] I paid for my cell phone ring tone.
[] I am a sports fanatic. [I am a sports.. interesterado. O.o] [And that didn't even turn up on Spell Check for a mo' O.o]
[x] I twirl my hair. [Um, sometimes.]
[x] I care about grammar. [Yours.]
[] I have “?”’s in my screen name. [Huh?]
[] I love spam. [HUH?]
[] I’ve copied more than 30 CD’s in a day.
[] I bake well.
[x] My favorite color is either white, yellow, pink, red, blue, black, purple, or orange.
[x] I would wear pajamas to school.
[] I know how to shoot a gun.
[] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS...EvErY nOw AnD tHeN. [Npe, dis iz SOO mch kewlr. Lyk, dood.]
[] I laugh at my own jokes
[x] I eat fast food weekly. [Subway.]
[x] I’ve not turned anything in and still got an A in a certain class. [General Studies. =P]
[] I can’t sleep if there is a spider in the room.
[] I am really ticklish.
[] I like white chocolate.
[] I bite my nails.
[x] I’m good at remembering faces.
[] I’m good at remembering names.
[x] I’m good at remembering dates.
[] I honestly have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life. [Here's one. Live.]
[] All my answers were totally honest. [Teehee.]

Ask no quoshuns my dear, hear no lies.

25 Random Things : Courtesy Madame DQ

2009-06-08T00:49:00.005+05:30

[The DQ with the dope on me. A more sophisticated version of the parda-faash. I think I'll go into hiding.]
[Just so you know, Dish, Ily. :)]

1. She takes too long to dress up. WAY too long. OMG. But somehow, she still manages to go ahead with impromptu plans. She amazes me :|

2. She is the camerawoman of the group and YET she has the most number of photographs on Facebook (yes, I am jealous, missy). Tell me if my Math is weak. How does that work out?

3. She sounds like Anil! Yes, she does. Oh, and by the way, for all you haters-of-Meow. Anil left. Like, FOREVER. So there will be no "Between The Sheets".. :( If I wanted to talk to you, I'd listen to Anil, and damn it, TRUST me, okay? The advice and stuff is err.. was SO you.

4. She is good at a lot of things. (Jack of all, mistress of all) and she will NEVER ever admit it. She will find a twisty explanation to shut me up everytime. But deep down, I know she is good at being a nerd and so many other things. :P

5. She argues a lot and I hate losing arguments to her. (oh, and that happens.. every single frikkin time!) Thank GOD she is not planning to become a lawyer. I would never be able to beat her. Like, ever. Sheesh.

6. She can never stay online for too long, NOW. In tenth, whenever I used to come online, she would DEFINITELY be online, but now, she hardly comes for fifteen minutes at a stretch. Wow. Old habits die quickly, Vasu?

7. Confession : I love her dressing sense. She carries it off so bloody well. If I wear what she wears, I'd end up looking like a big fat (no pun, dude) joke. I mean, really. You remember, Geetika's birthday party? If I wore that, I'd look like a clown. And you look decent (even pretty, see?). You look awesome :D Don't change, even if Suk makes fun of you!

8. She coughs a lot in class. Oh God. OH GOD. Thank God I never shared the same examination room with her. Get well soon, Vasu :)

9. I don't understand how she could put up with me for two damn years. I wouldn't be able to if I was her. Patience. She has a lot of it, I guess. (sometimes she doesn't, but then mostly, she does)

10. She is a hardcore perfectionist. And I strive to become one of those, but I can never, ever attain perfection. I don't know how she does it. It's so frustrating. :|

11. For the last two years in school, I remember her.. running. In the corridors, out the door, in the door, on the staircase. She was always on the move. Doing this teacher's work, or confiscating that, or attending this meeting, or making that announcement. God. Some stamina she has.

12. I remember that she was the first person ever to read my first story EVER (yes, it's not complete yet). And she actually liked it. I was so happy :) I took writing seriously ever since then.

13. She is soooooooooo diplomatic. Sometimes I wish she weren't! But she is. And I am too. So, I guess that's okay. Pretty normal, Vasu?

14. She is one of those few people who have a super duper HUGE social life. And she can handle it well. ;)

15. She is so damn kind. And I mean it, when I use that word. But she respects her rights, and yours too. She is a woman of substance!

(I am running out of things to say. Damn it!)

16. She backpats a lot. (contrary to her saying that I backpat, I just realised that SHE backpats way more than I do :|)

17. She is good at writing poetry that I don't get :P No offence. I think, what I don't get, is super awesome :)

18. If she can't convince them, she confuses them :| (okay, i cheated, a little bit. sorry?)

19. She can't sing too well (what? it's a fact!).

20. She talks with an accent. (YES, you do, Vasu :|) [I don't know why, I don't know how.]

21. She confuses me, a LOT. Sometimes I don't even admit it. I feel so stupid :P (refer 18)

22. She is way too busy for my liking :| But I like the fact that she finds time for everyone. :)

23. She is writing the same tag for me right now :D YAY!

24. She is online for the next one hour :o :D

Okay, So I cheated, Vasu :|
Sorry.
But if I remember more things, I will put them up on my blog, okay?
Promise. (:

And I love the fact that you try and make me feel better, every single time.
I'd get tired of me, but you don't. (:
You rocketh, beti.

[Ah yes, 24. Don't be too harsh on the poor dear. Math isn't her favourite subject.]

Monosyllables Inc.

2009-06-07T23:00:00.003+05:30

The Rules :
Answer in yes or no.
You are not allowed to say anything or explain anything unless someone messages you.

Taken a picture naked? : - No
Made out with a member of the same sex? : - No
Danced in front of your mirror? : - Yes
Told a lie? : - Yes 
Gotten in a car with people you just met?: - Yes
Been in a fist fight? : - Yes
Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back? : - ["message" me] Yes
Been arrested? : - No 
Left your house without telling your parents? : - No
Ditched school to do something more fun? : - Yes
Slept in a bed with a member of the same sex? : - Yes 
Seen someone die? : - No
Kissed a picture? : - No
Slept in until 3? : - Yes
Laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by? : - Yes
Played dress up? : - Yes
Fallen asleep at work/school? : - No
Felt an earthquake? : - No
Touched a snake? : - Yes
Ran a red light? : - No
Had detention? : - No
Been in a car accident? : - Yes
Pole danced? : - ["message" me] [What is with these weird things?] [Reminds me of massage me] Yes
Been lost? : - Yes 
Sang karaoke? : - Yes
Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? : - Yes 
Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? : - Yes
Caught a snowflake on your tongue? : - No
Kissed in the rain? : - No
Sang in the shower? : - Yes
Got your tongue stuck to a pole? : - No
Ever gone to school partially naked? : [message/massage] Yes
Sat on a roof top? : - Yes
Played chicken? : - Yes
Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? : - I think so, yeah
Been told you're hot by a complete stranger? : - No. [!!!]
Broken a bone? : - Yes
Mooned/flashed someone? : - No
Forgotten someone's name? : - Yes 
Slept naked? : - No
Blacked out from drinking? : - No
Played a prank on someone? : - Yes
Felt like killing someone? : - No [I'm your friendly, neighbourhood bore]
Made a parent cry? : - Yes
Cried over someone? : - Yes
Had sex more than 5 times in one day? : - No?
Had/Have a dog? : - No
Been in a band? : - Yes
Drank 25 sodas in a day? : - 27 golguppas
Shot a gun?:- Yes

There. You asked for a post, and there you have one. Now don't blame me for going by the rules. Just mail me a guest post so you have better stuff here. Or "message" me one.

2009-05-30T10:58:00.001+05:30

Oh, oh, oh.
I passed.

But I ain't back.
Ha.

2009-04-21T10:59:00.006+05:30

Ohmegod! Look who's famous!

[Btw, Mr. God Sir, may I have some inspiration? Pliss?]
[Is it just me or does my blog look like it has nothing but photographs?]

Aaaaaand back!

2009-03-22T13:14:00.002+05:30

Soon.

And no, the Boards weren't well.

Or not.

Time for the customary year end post.

2008-12-31T19:56:00.006+05:30

2008 has been a good boy.

School ended, school work ended [calling up Dominoes for sponsoring refreshments- 'Oh please, 35 apiece is okay', calling up HT/TOI for judges - 'No, PLEASE SIR!', calling up schools to get participants - 'No, PLEASE, come on? NO? Fiiine. What do you think of yourself, you, you...'], my own work started, yet..

It's been a good year.

Bombay.
The saree!
[Radh - Dude, you can't just not come on Democracy Day. Its the only day I get to rape you!]
[And - Official instructions : "All those taking Value Education classes are requested not to exhibit any knowledge regarding boyfriends and sex."]
Chandni Chowk.
Coffee and Math.
Farewells, gifts, speeches, crying.. Damn, who'd have thought?
My camera-finally!
Investiture.
Nehru Park. [Some fiasco, that. =P]
Sleepovers.
Fete.
"Rape me, my friend..."
Sweatshirts.
Sheets.
Embarrassing Moments Caught On Camera [Teehee]
The Christmas train. [suckers. missed it.]
Ahmedabad.
[EDIT on request] National Museum, being mugged by a kid, while someone just stood and watched. >.>
Tarot cards. =P =P
In Math : Namrata, will you please spit out what you're chewing?
Nim : But ma'am, I was not chewing anything. I was just faking it.
Adventure Island.
Nangia's budday treat - Six months, yet to happen.
Almost singing Nothing's Gonna Change My Love For You on Teacher's Day.
Macbeth practices. At Subway.
Ooh, Subway!
"Shit yaar, maine toh Da Vinci Code bhi padhi thi.." : Dish, after Suku and I convinced her that Vatican City was the capital of the world.
Assorted quizzes, debates and symposiums messed up.
Gossip. =P
"Yaar, mujhe koi kiss nahi deta." :Tapu, on being denied Hershey's Kisses.
School bus toilet humour.
CE staybacks. At Cafe Coffee Day.
A washed out Independence Day that turned out to be so much fun.
Impromptu trips to Barista to discuss platonic love.
"Ikchully, girls..."
Being caught by the vice principal, in the vice principal's office, having extremely mortifying conversations.
Singing Comfortably Numb, metal style, outside the principal's office.
But the Moment of the Year has to, has to go this:

In Economics:

Sonali, why are you grinning like that? Did I say something funny? Or is she doing something to you under the table?

The next year's gonna be a big one. There's the farewell in exactly a month, Boards [HELP!], college [Really? When? How?], shopping [^.^], time [finally!], and of course, things to cross off my To-Do-Before-20 List...

09, you better be great, kiddo.

As for 08, goodbye. It was good knowing you.

Sue me if this isn't hilarious

2008-12-28T17:55:00.004+05:30

Awesomeness. Press play.

Boymongoose
12 Days Of Christmas
Christmas in Asia Minor

Merry Christmas folks!

2008-12-25T13:08:00.001+05:30

'tis the season to be jolly.., originally uploaded by .vasudha.

Goings On

2008-12-15T14:55:00.006+05:30

Another one of those career counselling sessions happened at home.

Mum : So what are you going to do after you do Eco?
Me : Um. You realise I'm not even necessarily doing Eco, so kinda off-tangent to tell you what I'll do after that, right?
Mum : But you must know something..
Me : See, I'll give you a better option. I'll do one of those photography diplomas. Then you won't have any doubt. I'll have to be a photographer. Easy.
Mum : Photography is redundant. Why don't you become a paanwaala?
Me : Um. What did you just say?
Mum : Yeah, see it's safe. Recession, no recession, you're protected. No risk.

So. Vasudha Paanwaali and Associates anyone?

During the last week, I have been told that :

I need a nose job.
I am disloyal. [o.O]
"Hey, self obsessed!"
I should get my hair rebonded.
"Bitch about you? You're our favourite topic of mockery, honey."
I dance scarily. [After seeing the videos, I have to agree]
"You = innocent? World = apocalypse."

The last fete at school just concluded. If last year was Operation Human Poster, this year was no less. The lucky draw stall I was on duty at had a cycle as one of the gifts. One glance and I knew it. Convince teacher, check. Convince friend, check. Fifteen minutes later, there's a crazy female cycling around the grounds with another at the back, shouting, "Luckydrawluckydrawluckydraaaaaw!" in manner of enthusiastic DTC conductor. The 9th standard actually cheered. Good God.

Day 1 of the Get Active Finally programme.
7:00 AM

Grandmum : Where are you going?
Me : Walk. I'll be back in an hour.

G'mum : Where?
Me : Here and there. East, I guess.
G'mum : Why don't you ask Chacha to drop you?

Oh, btw.
Presenting : The HOTTEST JOGGING FASHION TRENDS THIS WINTER!

Unclejis : Blue hoodies and red track pants. [No.s spotted : 4]
Bachchajis with ages in the region of 15-25 : Over sized bomber jackets with hot pants. [The males ie.] [No.s spotted : 1] [No of aforementioned bachchas spotted : 1]
Auntyjis : Salwar kameez, with the dupatta over the head. Secured in place by a brown monkey cap.

I like imagination.
More importantly, I need some.

2008-12-09T20:06:00.000+05:30

Time's ripe for a new post, don't you think?

Damn. School.

2008-11-16T12:39:00.002+05:30

Dear Me,

I know you can't take in the things that are happening. I know you feel like things are going too fast, skimming swiftly over you, like you're an insignificant stone on the road that can't stop anyone's progress. I know you hate this happening, but I also know that inside, whether you admit it or not, you know this had to come and the timing is the best it could have been. From a soft laze to a crescendo, and then a fade out.. The end is nigh.

You probably rue not making better use of the year. You probably rue not attending English classes since July. But come on kid, would you have been able to shriek,"Come you spirits that tend on mortal thoughts, unsex me here!" on stage, in front of 350 people, otherwise? Would you have been able to see Zeus, Athena and Aphrodite dance to Pappu Can't Dance and teaching fractions while organising the Maths play otherwise? And look. Ten days of pizza as refreshments win over five months of English anyway.
[A little denial never hurt no one.]

As for people, they'll be there. And if they aren't, you be there for them. In the end, it amounts to the same thing. She said you fear failure, didn't she? That it pulls you back when you think you're not going to be good at something? She knows you well. But it isn't failure.
Its change.
Displacement.

What's happened? You thrived on change. Challenges, opportunities. You still do. Its just the void you need to overcome, and then we'll be back. As one.

Good luck.

Love,
Me.

[Aanchal? I just did your tag. =)]

Post-ponement

2008-11-10T14:25:00.003+05:30

[I don't really know what I'd call this. It isn't poetry, its still not prose.
Thought stream, prolly. =/]

I walk through grey meanders,
Stepping carefully to avoid
the dark criss crosses:
Wars of leaves and wires.

Then on to lanes
Of sound and play
They don't run about like we did, though.
PSP huddles. I trudge on
through roads and lost times
Quagmires, shaken off.

A look up, and the sapphire holds me
In a careless twine around its littlest giant finger
I care not for the chain
In its grasp, I am free

A blare and a hasty look down
A mumbled apology to the driver
An uncertain shake
And then,
The mindless laughter

Boxed houses lined up
Off key Idol singing runs out through one
And a yell for someone to shut the back door
Before another someone runs away
And the smell of hot packet soup
Simmering lightly;
Warm yellow lights.
Like any of the other
Lined up beside
And yet..

Open your heart..

I'm home.

Kem cho, majama?

2008-11-02T12:53:00.004+05:30

Check 1..
Check 2..
Check 3..
Working. Whew.

So. Where have I been?

The parents have decided its high time to get their parental priorities right, and set curfews, computer usage limits, omg-you-sleep-at-one-or-do-you-even-sleep lectures. The coup de resistance goes way above these though. Its the 12th, beta. You need to study. Bas, nothing doing. Come November, and the Net's going, and we'll keep your phone with us too. Come on, its a measly five months, and its for your good obviously. Ab nahi padhoge toh kab, haan?

I was counting on my sister to throw a few tantrums here and there, because if the net goes, it goes for everyone, and she does like swiping my cell, then locking herself up in the bathroom and going through my inbox. Well, protest she did. Net stays. For her.

However, thanks to whatever little convincing powers I have [I'm trying to be modest, see?], there has been leetle leeway for me too. Been allowed Net and cell phone usage on Sundays, which means, for the most part, you can expect posts every Sunday. Think I might end up being more regular while grounded in a twisted, paradoxical way. O_o
[Yay! I know a word with x other than Xmas!]

Anyhow, my momma has been trying her hardest to make me a demure, soft spoken SSBN.* Which is why she's vigorously been rigorously training me in cooking basics. Her reasoning behind it is that I should at least know how to make basic survival food. My reasoning says as long as I know how to operate a telephone and have the number of the nearest Subway/Domino's, I'll survive. Luxuriously. But then, steely motherly ha-ha-now-get-to-work looks have a tendency to whip you into action. And so we begin.

Day 1
Aloo Capsicum

Honestly, how is something I dislike enough to not eat it going to help me survive? I mean, if I'm not eating it..
Enter afore mentioned steely look.
Ah, yes.

Take a kadhai ["Um, which one is the kadhai?"] Two teaspoons of ghee. Add sliced onions when it gets hot. Saute until they're pink. ["But they're just getting yellow."] Add chopped capsicum and ugh-ish looking tomatoes. Salt and red chilli powder. Diced boiled potatoes. Turmeric. Cover it with a lid, wait for two songs to finish on your iPod, and voila! You're done. Garnish with a tomato flower [6 petals, NOT 8], green chillies, and finely sliced adrak, and you're positively cordon bleu.

Ah yes. I, kitchen failure non-parallel, made that.

*takes a bow*

Think twas edible. Mum's still fine. Me? I ordered in pizza for dinner.

*shaant, sushil bharatiya naari

How B. Sir Was Hugged, Shocked, and Got a Life.

2008-10-04T13:45:00.000+05:30

By Suku Iyer

It is one of those sunny days, when half the class is sleeping and only people like M seem to be tolerating [actually, attentively listening] to Sir's soporific voice. "Oh, my dear, my attention." Suddenly, in a flurry of perfume, this chirpy female with a fake grin enters our class. "Hi!!! Siiir!" "Hullo Shefali." [All of a sudden everyone in the class is paying rapt attention and this murmur circultaes,"Isn't that Shefali T.? God she's so fat!"]
Not noticing this, she screams,"Hii everyone", and our class is suddenly and uncharacteristically solemn. Then, out of the blue, she goes and hugs Sir. Now Sir, not being used to such affection is caught unawares and his eyes almost jump out of their sockets. [She's supposedly a model, hence, the gogglingness!] This is too much for us, so we start staring big time at Sir and his model. Sir, seeing us, and thinking his reputation to be at stake, very shrewdly takes her outside. We hear a "So how are you, Shefali?" in his special husky voice. Everyone in class is almost falling out of their seats trying to listen to them. [This is a girls school, so gossip is like water, hence quintessential] She [Shefali] is unnerved by our very 'decent' reactions, and carries on in her super audible voice..
"Oh Sir, I completely forgot! This is my husband!" "Oh, hullo." [Shit man, Sir's face was so shrivelled up, you actually felt bad for that beast] Our class, ever so soigne, screams,"Chhee! He's so ugly; uncle! Urgh!" Just when we seem to get over the shock, she jumps inside the class, with a Wonder Womanish air around her. "Hiii everyone!" This time around, we all reply religiously. "HIII!" "So how's Sir teaching you guys? He's brilliant, isn't he?" [Yeah, right, he may be the god of Accounts, but I still don't give a shit. But then, she doesn't care for mine or anyone's opinion and continues.] "Does he still give you the Boston-Bombay example? When we were students, he always gave us that one!" [A whisper follows. "Yaar, why is she bullshitting so much?"]
Sir seems to realise that Shefali dearest is with the class, and comes inside shiftily. [He doesn't trust us at all, you know.] "Oh no Shefali, that was for your batch only." "Okay, okay then bye Sir!" [Hum dobaara milenge na Shefali?] "Bye everyone!" ["Please dobaara aana Shefali...."]

And so she leaves, leaving us with enough gossip and hot news to share with our fellow chugalkhors.

Aaand its deja vu!

2008-09-25T14:21:00.002+05:30

Last year, last year's creative writing competition. This.
This year, this year's creative writing competition. This.

Ahem.

THE BEST WAY TO DESTROY THE EARTH
[in the opinion of a few honourable gentlemen]

'There's a hole in my bucket,
Eliza, a hole..'
A child singing his rhyme
could take its toll.
The noble young 'un
With a heart of gold;
Of environ consciousness
In school, would've been told.
Precious water would go waste
Flowing through the hole;
Paining our noble,
aggrieved young soul.
To the town mayor
He would scurry;
[Trying times like this
Necessitated hurry]
The mayor would look,
solemnly; and say,
"I see but
no other way.
A problem so serious
Needs more power.
I shall make calls,
Wide and far."
The environment minister
At once would be called;
He'd look at the bucket
Stricken, appalled.
"The bucket makers
Should die of shame,
Of so sacrilegious a sin
They are to blame!"
A committee would be formed,
A panel laid;
To see if the bucket
Would make life fade.
The learned chairman
Would adjust his glasses,
Cough, and be ready
To face the masses.
"This bucket here
Doth proclaim :
Repercussions for which
We have no name.
The aqua would flow through
And be wasted;
People would die
H2O untasted.
Dehydration would take
Further lives:
Men and women
Husbands and wives;
Producers would die
Supply would fall;
[The author has economic knowledge,
however small.]
With no food to eat
We'd be dead meat;
Scavengers would abound
Rise and soar,
The black eagle would burp
Having had bodies four.
A gurgling in its stomach
Would put it ill at ease,
For it would develop
A weird sounding stomach disease.
Flowers would wither,
Plants die;
No life on earth,
My, oh my.
This is true people,
fear oh fear!
Armageddon beckons,
Apocalypse nears!
The world is in danger,
Do well to worry:
Live your dreams,
Dude! Scurry!
The earth will soon be dead;
Drenched in streams of red.
But remember this mortals,
I, first this, foretold,
So when you make money on your bets
I want commission in gold."

Er, yeah. So I suck at rhyming. And I digress. :P

2008-09-13T19:57:00.002+05:30

Five blasts.
Jeez.
All markets.
One fifteen minutes away from home.
Another I would have been at right now.
What is the world coming to?

Hope you're all fine.

Dilli - Ahmedabad

2008-09-12T13:52:00.001+05:30

[Just found something in my drafts. Iono, but it makes me cringe. Cribfest.]
[PS. Exams. =( ]

23rd April, oh eight.

8:oo PM
Bon voyage. Train leaves.
15 relatives, one fourteen hour journey.
Hmmm.

8:3o PM
Honestly, I have a name and it is NOT gudiya.

9:3o PM
Food!

Yellow Dal that has, due to space constraints obviously, been compressed into a thick block of yellow blubbery glue.

11:3o PM
The Indian National Railways need one thing, and fast : separate snorer bogeys. Try sleeping while five people snore in tuneless harmony around you, Mr. Laloo Prasad Yadav. Hmph.

24th April, oh eight
oo:3o AM
Insomnia.

Though Ambar makes for great listening on sleepless train journeys with the A/C chilling you from the outside and the lyrics warming you in a snuggle inside. Mmm.

Also blocks out snores.

6:3o AM
Waking up to the sounds of "Itni Shakti Humain Dena Daata" on the train's local radio network can only be labelled interesting.

6:45 AM
Railway toilets are creepy. Do not, do NOT look down, not even for a peep.
*shudders*

7:oo AM
Turns out I missed on the most important events of the night : one of the 15 odd relatives sleepwalking to the toilet in the night, someone's foot hitting someone on the head, and someone needing a different berth since he was too, er.. girthly to fit in the middle one.
Ello. The Great Indian Dysfunctional Family welcomes you.

9:3o AM
Sleepwalking ancient uncle, who has more teeth missing than present, gets a call from some random girl. A simpery voice is heard.
"I like music, and I love singing! Could we meet?"

9:45 AM
Standing at the bogey door, waving at kids working on the platform tracks and taking photographs, when the TC comes and says, "Ah, so you are doing photography? Bhook hartal people, no?" Okay, so they hadn't served dinner until 10 yesterday night, and I'd jokingly said it was a forced bhook hartal, and I'd put up a dharna in the corridor, which he managed to overhear. I grin at him, and nod quickly.

1o:3o AM
Ahmedabad!
We're here!
And its HOT.

1o:31 AM
Aaand we've been rechristened, folks.
The name's ben, Vasuben.

Fluff

2008-08-27T15:50:00.001+05:30

[also, UNMBB no. 5]

I is being thrown out of the house. The mother says I is a bad influence on the kids because I care about my marks overmuch.

Overzealous tuition teachers can be hazardous to health. My Economics tutor just got an A/C installed in our room, and in the josh of jawaani, keeps it on at full blast at 18C. Couple this with my delicate little nose, and you have an olfactory disaster. Picture this : I'm sniffing away to glory, and the leaky sneaky thing refuses to stop. So I think I'll run down to the chemist and get some tissue paper. Lo and behold, the chemist hands me a wad of 300 table tissues. I ask if they have a smaller pack, and the answer's in the negative. At this precise moment, my friend comes up with a bright plan. Why not use wet wipes? I give her a deadpan look and say, "They're -wet.-" She uses the mesmer, or whatever, but at the end of it, I give in. Now the pack I buy is aloe vera and mint extract. This should be a good time to be wary, seeing my past history with aloe vera, but cold viruses numb your brain. We're back at the tuition centre and now I get this incredulous stare from the first person I see. I realise I'm holding a wet tissue to my nose. A wet, or in other words, completely and utterly drenched tissue. One that says,"Wow, isn't that some cold?" Blah.

Paul Newman endorsed Lux. Someone please lend the guy some money.

Rabri Devi has sisters called Rasgulla, Paan and Jalebi. Someone please send them my sympathies.

You didn't go for COQ 08, did you? Ha, sucker. That's why you didn't know.

In Breaking News at School!, the Chem lab has been shifted from the first floor to the ground floor. Why? Because the pillars supporting it were cracking. All thanks to the lovely, studious Science kids who can't fathom spending a single minute without Pradeep [the book, silly] and therefore spend 24 hours of holy inactivity studying. This leads to the formation of perfectly spherical human spheres of scientific excellence, and puts too much weight on the pillars. The pillars can't bear the brunt, and crumble. What if someone had actually come under them? Studying is injurious to health. Your honour, I rest my case.

Now Dish the Fish has been up to some tough, tough work lately. No, she hasn't mastered the art of laughing without the hand coming up to cover her mouth yet [though persevere and you will learn, bachcha.] In actuality, she's done much more. Madame Amphibian has found me a proposed soulmate! In her words, "He sounds SO much like you, the solutions to problems he gives, his accent! [I don't have an accent btw, just an overlyexcitedspeakfastrushwhooosh way of talking], has this really nice, deep voice [um. I screech. And that's me being objective. :|] and he hosts a radio show!"

Sounds perfect, doesn't he?

Just this minor catch.

His show is called er.. Between The Sheets.

2008-08-19T14:53:00.001+05:30

.
They fly untamed.

The expanse of blue:
inhales the rise
of each tiny life;
sighs to propel
every carefree flight;
While with arms open
they tread gently,

Softly; on its chest.
.

Tag paanch aka MEZ IZ TAGGEDZ!

2008-08-12T19:50:00.005+05:30

Tagged by His Almighty Geekiness, Ashish.

5 - You’re going on a long journey, what five albums MUST you take with you? Albums that you need to listen to regularly.

Mekaal Hasan Band : Sampooran [Have to listen.]

Silk Route : Boondein [actually, this does have an incredibly corny English song called, um.. Mermaid. *shudders* I'm allowed to substitute that with Mohit Chauhan's Guncha, right? =D]

Call : Jilawatan

Strings : Duur

The Raghu Dixit Project : Raghu Dixit [Ambar. *drool*]

4 - What four albums/songs do you most associate with a ~~journey or travel experience~~ memory? You know, the ones you listen to that transport you back to a place and time.

Asoka [yes, the Shah Rukh Khan and Kareena Kapoor movie. Stop gaping.] : I'd gone on a family vacation to Kerala back when I was 11, and for ten days, I listened to nothing else, since it was the sole non-Malayalam album our driver had. San Sana-na Nan. Responsible for any craziness I display today. You have no idea how impressionable an eleven year old is.

Numb - Linkin Park : 15th December, 2007. School grounds. School fete in progress. Yours truly on compering duty at the music request stall on stage, seeing 3000 kids getting bored. What does yours truly do? She takes the microphone, and instead of just announcing, "Next up is Numb, by Linkin Park, from [insert random desperate guy's name] to all the hot girls of Carmel!", she er.. shouts,"Lemme hear you roaaaaaaaaaaaaaar, people!" and proceeds to jump, and head bang to Numb, lip syncing, and going crazy in a passable imitation of Chester. On stage. 3000 people. [Aku, I know you'll be a good friend, and delete that video. NOW.]

Keh Lene Do - Agnee : In the 11th, when our class would be practicing for the 12th's farewell, Sukanya and I would sit on the low ledge behind the auditorium at school, with baby squirrels for company. We'd begin with humming Keh Lene Do, and Karvan by Agnee, move on to Tere Bina by Fuzon, and as more people came and sat, Allah Ke Bande, finally finishing off with a crowd favourite : Chain Kulli Ki Main Kulli. =P [You HAVE to see that video.]

Shayad / Nishaan - Call : For the impromptu jam sessions at school with K. =)

3 - Your three favourite songs of all time?

Boondein : Silk Route

Tiluk Kamod : Ahmed Jahanzeb

I Will Follow You Into The Dark : Death Cab For Cutie [Do.. not.. stare. Its a nice song. Shoo.] [as is Carnival of Rust. And Champagne Supernova. And Good Riddance. ^.^]

2 - Two feel good songs, the ones that are guaranteed to lift the blues and put a smile on your face.

Ud Chalta - Nitish Pires [The guy is um.. weird. And the album version has better vocals. And slightly adjusted lyrics.]

Le Chale - KK, My Brother Nikhil [also try: Yeh Honsla - Shafqat Amanat Ali Khan]

1 - Absolute, overall, undoubtedly the best album of all time, in your opinion.

The ever changing, all accommodating to-listen-before-bed album of the [V]. =D

[Ah yes. I wasn't supposed to include any Inglis songs. One little song or two can't hurt, right? At least, I say it can't. & my word is law. I is 17. Mwahahahaha.]

Going home

2008-07-24T15:47:00.000+05:30

Sweaty hands stuck to a glass door.
Palms pressed against the steadily mistyifying and demystifying canvas.
A whizz past reality.
Eyes that cringe to avoid yellow glare, and in a blink, open to soak in wonder.
A gasp, and an intake.

"Yeh darwaaze apne aap kyun khul rahe hai? Hum raat hone se PEHLE pahuch jayenge!?"

Then the doors slide shut, and Papa gently pushes her open jaw upward.
And the Metro races ahead, only to be engulfed by another hollow serpentine station.

Tag chaar aka Nidhi's tag!

2008-07-15T19:35:00.000+05:30

Stolen from Nidhi .

The Rules - *I challenge you to make your own list. The only catch? You can't include a single person you know on your list. No "I love the way my husband laughs" or "I love hearing my little girl call for me." It'll be tough, I know. But this particular little exercise is about stripping away everyone who defines you and figuring out what you (not his partner; not their mother/daughter/sister/friend) love.

I love sitting in the corridor outside my class and catching the wind. Being part of the mob that runs inside whenever anyone at the staircase yells, "Bhaago, Shobha's coming!" Hot chocolate fudge at Nirula's. Jabbering on and on and making no sense. I love scribbling into my journal at night. Traveling. I love the shivers down my spine after being drenched in the rain. Climbing trees. Jumping into puddles. Splashing paint and slashing my jeans and then calling them works of art. I love causing someone to break into a smile. I love causing someone to throw up on Coke because of guffawing too hard at my lame jokes. Staring out of the window on long car drives. Cycling. Trekking. Mountains. Listening to Strings late at night. I love hour long phone conferences where everyone makes jokes simultaneously, then laughs at their own joke, and they're all happy thinking five people found what they said funny. I love Drake and Josh. And Megan. Old photographs. Monochromes. Nonsense masquerading as abstractness. My nonsense. Individuality. Hot Choco-latte at Cafe Coffee Day cupped into palms on freezing winter nights. Being liked. I love chocolate. Lots of chocolate. Lots of chocolate without the calories. Rereading old posts and thinking what an I ass I was. Black gel pens. I love Calvin and Hobbes. Learning. The smell of old books. I love character. Acceptance. Chocolate Truffle with Sour Cherry sauce from Bread and More. Holidays! Economics. Myself. Longish complicated sounding words that make me sound pseudo-literary. I love the desperate types. NOT. Snuggling into a warm blanket while listening to Fix You. Genuineness. I love colour. Exploring. Photographing people off guard. Sunrises. Lying on my terrace and looking at the stars. Going wild. I love surprises. Pushing myself. My W120. I love glass bangles. Gossip. Douglas Adams. Walking barefoot on dewy grass. I love Pakistani Rock Music. Impromptu shopping trips [paid for by parents!]. Four hour long conversations, solely through chits, at school. I love nostalgia. Closing my eyes and soaking in darkness. Vibrancy. Bonfires. School. Celebrations. Five people sharing a packet of Senor Pepito Nachos because they accidentally discovered combined chilladh in their bags amounting to ten rupees. I love the Litchi groves at Glasshouse on the Ganges at Rishikesh. Memories. Knowing there's so much to be grateful for. Storing time in a jar at the back of my mind. =)

For Better or Worse

2008-07-15T14:32:00.001+05:30

"Didi, I don't have my napkin."

"I'm not allowed to have ice cream, Didi."

"You come in N9, no, Didi?"

"HI, DIDI!"

"Didi, you won't have ice cream?"

"You're a member of Roshanara Club na, Didi? I saw you!"

"I don't [slurp] like [slurp] chocolate flavour, Didi."

"Didi, Samridhhi has potty!"

Two years back, I was here. Not exactly telling on my classmates' toilet training skills, but still being the annoying prat who loved dissing the school, the play, the presentation, the kids who would play Mother Veronica, and their invariable fainting on stage. The five rupee orange bar we used to get morphed into a twenty rupee Cornetto with the Indian economy progressing. But then, I'd still crib. Something had to be wrong, eh?
Another day, another time. Life smacks you in the face, with a past-you looking at the present-you in the eye. And you're on the 'other' side now, the one that takes the dissing patiently. Not just that, but everything that comes with it. Authority, responsibility, accountability; I don't like [=P]. Sigh. Growing up is no fun. Two years of growing up now on display, live and exclusive. Go play.

Oh, and by the way, in an evil twist of fate, I didn't get any ice cream this year.

< rant >

2008-07-12T19:16:00.005+05:30

Clasping drenched temples trying to push the pain inside stuff it so hard into a paper ball pressed smaller, smaller, smaller. Doubling up quadrupling it just trying to make it go and vanish and whoosh and leave you relieved and content and free. Gritting teeth and creasing brows and banging feet and fists and oh no, its still there why and the music doesn't obliviate it and it hurts and why can't you just poof! and go you, you...

Get lost, work.

[Why does this sound like The Rant of The Constipated?]

Tag teen aka We're Back After The Break!

2008-07-05T13:28:00.004+05:30

Tagged by Bharat. Title credits go the same way.

5 things found in your bag

Camera, Phone, iPod.
Money, food passes etc.
Dairy, pens in assorted colours [on last count : black, fluorescent orange and fuschia], and a book.
Old movie tickets, restaurant bills, wrappers etc. [I'm too lazy to clean up. Sue me.]
Random things stuffed in by other people who're too lazy and selfish to carry a bag, and dump their Physics notebooks into mine. Hmph. Listening, are you?

5 favourite things in your room

My model Seaplane - iMade! ^.^
My hula hoops - Er, yes. I own two. And what's more, I can hula hoop. Beat that, loser!
The mini veranda that's technically not in my room, but is still the best place to sit and read. Its even got place to keep a champagne glass [that's filled with Sprite.] =P
My freshly painted book shelves with more school books than others. My books number 50+. School books? Lets not get there... *shudders*
The side windows that help in spying on my neighbour! =P

5 things you are currently into

Monochromes
Nameless channel no. 3 on my cable network that has inadvertently hilarious Uttaranchali Lok Sangeet music videos. =P
Photography. Black and whites.
Huge messes.
Tags! What else? :D

5 things you have always wanted to do

Go to jail.
Flunk an exam. [Monday. Math. Bubble might burst.]
Take a year off for just backpacking. [Note to self : Might have to take ten years off before that for just earning enough to be able to do that.]
Sound pseudo literary.
Be able to write heartfelt, expressive wishes that sound genuine, and not lamely corny, and show how much I care. Since that doesn't look very likely, in the near future, guess you'll just have to do with a simple happy birthday then, Nik. Have a blast. Flabbergast Stanford! =P

Issued In Public Interest

2008-07-01T17:53:00.002+05:30

Aloe Vera Facewash is not particularly tasty.

Singing while washing your face is not particularly a good idea either.

Chandni Chowk

2008-06-26T17:20:00.002+05:30

Helloji, and namaste from NRV Travels [Pvt.] Ltd [Committed to service of traveler always] We are the best travel-bhraman guide service in Delhi, sirji. For non Hindi speaking traveler, we have non Hindi speaking guide [Nik], for culture-crazy traveler, we have singing-dancing-stripping guide [Rad], and for intelligent, sane and normal traveler, we have intelligent, sane and normal guide [Miss V]

Today, sirji, we are in Chandni Chowk, showing rich, diverse traditions of India. First, we are getting off from Chandni Chowk Metro Station. Look left. See the beautiful, golden piece heralding our architectural great? The lovely-feeling inducing arcs? Ah, yes. McDonald's. And now just behind that, you will see the Red Fort, also called Lal Qila. If you get up on time and Doordarshan is your preferred mode of entertainment, then this is the place from where the PM gives his speech on Independence Day every year.

Its great to know that such an awe inspiring monument is part of our cultural heritage. Like you're the co-owner, even if you own only a 1/1,000,000,000th of the place. Gives you this confident stride, and makes you saunter proudly though the security check.

"Arre, madam! Ticket kaha hai?"

Uh oh?

So..uh..uh... yeah! You see, its not a good idea to go without tickets. We only tried so we could report accurately, ji. Hamein toh pata tha.

Once andar, Miss V says to skip the memorabilia shops [in manner of hoity toity serious explorer on frugal budget who cares not for material pleasures] Radhika says, "Achha saamaan hai, par Janpath par yahi sab aadhe daam main milta hai." Nik says she doesn't understand what Radhika said.

Don't take any of those fake tout guides, who'll ask for 200 rupees to tell you a broken history of the place in broken Inglis. Just call us, ji. We are committed to service of traveler. We will show you the Diwan-e-Aam, Lahore Gate, Mussaman Burj and the shallow waterways in the midst of all the imperial apartments, that used to have Yamuna water flowing through them, presumably to soak in your feet after a hard day's work of meeting the aam junta. We also show you the best place to take a Khwaja Mere Khwaja photo too. We are best, no?

Now if your pet [stomach, not dog] says gud-gud, let us go to Parathewali Gali. We take you to no running mill place, we will take you to Pt. Gaya Prasad Shiv Charan Parathewala. All celebrities like Jawaharlal Nehru, Indira Gandhi, Akshay Kumar and the three of us have eaten here. It also won the best parathewale place award at HT's Eating Out Awards 2007. Here, you have to have the Hari Mirch paratha, if only to see if you would survive in Fear Factor. Come with big appetite though. Nik and I had one paratha each. The guy serving us looked shocked and asked if had not liked the food. Ah well. I would have loved to have more parathas, but ji, I have delicate stomach, so..

After this, we take you shopping. Rad will show chamki shops in Kinari Bazaar, where you can get sequins, stones, jewelled patches, and feather boas. Or you can buy pretty chamki sarees for Minakshi ke bhatije ki behen ki shaadi. Saste main kaam bhi ho jayega.

But what if you're an uncle and don't like wearing sarees? Not to worry sirji, we will take you to Dariba Kalan. While bhabhiji buys silver jewelery, why don't you get an IIFA award made for yourself? Sabki seva karte hai hum. We are committed to service of traveler.

Aww, Pappu toh reh gaya. No problem Pappu beta, engineer banana hai na? We'll take you to Nayi Sarak, where you can get all Pradeep, Modern, Primitive, sab. But Pappu is all rounder, no? Books bhi, looks bhi. And if you study all day, ainak toh lagegi hi. Ballimaran chalo! The best goggles and glasses in town, even Pappu's girlfriend [shh!] will approve!

Ab poora parivaar is sukhi parivaar, so let's make Bhagwaan happy too. Sisganj Gurudwara is our last stop for th day. As you eat kada prashad and feel blessed, we will make sure your shoes are kept safe. And when you are chaatoing the last daanas from your palms, we will not even laugh. We will only smile, and drop you at the Metro Station, and as the doors of the Metro close, we will say ta-ta. For we, Sirji, are committed to service of traveler.

Tag do

2008-06-22T19:15:00.002+05:30

1. What have you realised recently?
That the best way to zap summer zits is not Garnier Yellow Tube Facewash but simply taking off your specs and looking at the mirror.

2. Have you given your first kiss away?
Tauba, tauba. :P

3. If you were to be stranded on a deserted island, who are the 11 blog buddies you would take?
Three's a crowd. Eleven's a deserted island no more. Mayhem! :D
Er, the question. Yes.
Inflict torture of self's company on them all.

4. Where is the place that you want to go the most?
Betelgeuse.

5. If you can have 1 dream to come true, what would it be?
Fly, oh so high, into the sky, I shall try, kar diya na bheja fry? Sigh.

On second thoughts, 6/6 vision wouldn't hurt.

6. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after the rain?
I'm half blind :|

7. What are you afraid to lose the most now?
Do ghante baith kar banaya trial balance. :|

8. If you win $1 million, what would you do?
Stash it in a bank, and go backpacking.

9. If you meet someone that you love, would you confess to him/her?
Hmm. I'd be afraid to botch up things, really. :/

10.List out 3 good points of the person who tagged you.
Kya zyaadti hai, har tag par achha likho? Bah, I can't be that good. Not when I'm talking about others. Boohoo.

Here goes.

Dish : Writes fabulously when she's in her element, can express emotions so well, and is always game for a Gelato outing. :D

Shailja : Spunk, character, and individuality. You go, girl.

Abhilasha : Brimming with story ideas, has this striking persona thing going for her, and does what SHE wants.

11. What are the requirements that you wish from your other half?
Sanity?

12. Which type of person do you hate the most?
Hate is a strong word [and I really, really, really...uh.]
Hard to find someone I hate. I can dislike at best. I know, I'm so good. ^_^

13. What is the one thing you cannot live without?
Positive cell phone balance.

14. If you have faults, would you rather the people around you point out to you or would you rather they keep quiet?
Rather they point it out.

15. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
Moi, who else? :D

16. Are you a shopaholic or not?
*grins guiltily*

17. Find a word to describe the person who tagged you.

Dish : Writesfabulouslywhenshe'sinherelement,canexpressemotionssowell,andisalwaysgameforaGelatoouting. :D

Shailja : Spunk,character,andindividualityYougo,girl.

Abhilasha : Brimmingwithstoryideas,hasthisstrikingpersonathinggoingforher,anddoeswhatSHEwants.

That'll do, right? :P

18. If you have a chance. Which part of your character you would like to change?
I'd wish to be a harder worker. I'm a lazy ass.

19. Whats the last shocking thing you've seen or heard?
Ooh. Not telling. Classroom gossip. Possibly Breaking News. :D

20. Would you rather have love but no money or money but no love?
Lazy, and greedy too. Both. I demand both! Mwahahaha!
[Deja vu?]

Tagging time :
Aanchal, Aku [Three good things? Omg. Two weeks at least? :P], Anahita, Bharat, Ishmeet, Kika, Kishore, Nidhi [when she returns], Nik [Ha. This is going to be fun.], Shayeri, Shruti and everyone else on the blogroll. I'm just a bachcha. Kill me not. ^_^

Tag ek

2008-06-18T15:23:00.005+05:30

Last movie seen in a theatre:

Khuda Ke Liye. Waaay back in April. Great movie, btw.

Going for Aamir tomorrow, maybe. :D

What book are you reading?:

Airman by Eoin Colfer.

Favourite board game:

Scrabble, Monopoly, TWISTER!

Favourite magazine:

Griha Shobha. Fantastic fashion spreads, oh yeah. And gorgeous, drool worthy mehendi tattoos. Mmm.

Favourite smells:

Freshly baked cake. Rajnigandha. Nyaazboz leaves rubbed between palms. Raat ki Raani. Mogra.

Favourite sound:

The gurgle and subsequent charging of sudden rain showers.

Worst feeling in the world:

Hopelessness. Giving up.

What is the first thing you think of when you wake up?:

Why didn't the alarm ring?!

Favourite fast food place:

Er. Subway? =P

Future child’s name:

Slartibartfast, god bless him/her.

Finish this statement, “If I had a lot of money I’d…” :

Barter it for a lot of time. *sigh*

Do you drive fast?

Drive people mad fast, very fast.

Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?

Yeah, its a life size teddy bear with a red satin bow around his neck. He's called Chocofudge. Nirula's Chocofudge. Because he's chocolate brown like the HCF, and the red ribbon is symbolic of the red cherry on top of it. Red for love. He loves me. I love him.

Bless you if you believed that.

Do you eat the stems on broccoli?

I hate broccoli. I like vegetables. Just don’t like eating them.

Storms - Cool or Scary?

Cool. Love being drenched and jumping into puddles. ^_^

If you could dye your hair any colour, what would be your choice?

I've already tried copper, red and purple, separately of course. And non permanent. I'd say electric blue next. Block highlights. :D

Name all the different cities/towns you have lived in:

Delhi.

Favourite sports to watch:

Tennis, Kirkut, and sometimes, football.

One nice thing about the person who sent this to you:

Dish: V. empathetic.

Kika: Gets the sarcasm just right, everytime

Lasha: Meri boss? :P

What’s under your bed?

The actual Vasudha, bound and gagged. I'm Polyjuice Potion generated.

Would you like to be born as yourself again?

Sure.

Morning person or night owl?

Morning person and night owl, in shifts.

Over easy or sunny side up?

I don’t like omlettes much, really. I veggie.

Favourite place to relax:

Anyplace where I can walk.

Favourite ice cream flavour:

Chocolate chip. Belgian Dark Chocolate, if its gelato. :D

You pass this tag to –

Next bored person in queue. I be bored. I be boring you. Spread the bore. Mwahaha!
*yawn*

Say what?

2008-06-16T17:56:00.001+05:30

Argent

2008-06-03T13:15:00.000+05:30

[Old draft : 21/04/08 : Do not take time references seriously.]

As a kid, I used to have this great fascination for charm bracelets. It would be the only part of the then-tomboy me that really pleased my mum. She's always been this stickler for looking glamorous/pretty [and in recent times - ravishing :P] and seeing me look wistfully at those thin silver chains made her way happier than seeing me muck around in the mud playing football with the guys.

You can't blame me : I was in love with the concept and still am - getting a plaid little bracelet and putting one charm on it every birthday to commemorate the year gone by. Like collecting time in a vial, and offloading a year's worth of memories into an intricate piece of argent. And having it around your wrist to gift a sudden unconscious smile at an inadvertent glance.

Yesterday, I went to Karol Bagh, probably after two years. Strange how fleetingly perspective stays, as does childish excitement. As I walk through the dingy lanes, I see huge, 20 feet+ banners put up by jewelers, clothes shops, car mechanics, and er..pakodawallas. I know this place vaguely. I recognize names. Bu the facades evade me. My mum's talking to me, unaware I'm lost. I catch an exasperated sigh, and she steers me to a dilapidated staircase with a survivingly familiar stench. And suddenly, I'm the exuberant 9 year old again, the one who wanted an anchor on her charm bracelet, because her favorite restaurant had a sea voyage theme. I look at mum incredulously, and she says, " I thought you'd like a new one, in lieu of the old that broke." I gape, and then I grin, in a broken sort of way.
An hour later, I'm catching the sun in the story woven around my wrist. There's a miniature convertible, hanging for the Britain trip where my dad drove us around, trying his darnest to unlearn standard Delhi honking routines. There's a tiny hairbrush - "Since I nag you enough about your hair." A sole stilleto - " A reminder that beauty with brains includes beauty, and that is NOT chortling around with mud streaks on your face," and a traveling hat [for the vacation to Singa, Malaysia and Thailand, where my sister and I fooled around wearing touristy hats and orange paper umbrellas] glint gleefully. So does a little beer bottle crown - "Papa, Vasu!" she says, not realizing that my dad hates beer. ["Plus, it'll be you soon enough."]

We're walking back, and the streets are lit up, barely recognizable. Bright and agog, this could be anywhere. Unfamiliar faces, unchartered paths; and storehouses of memories might be locked inside the cupboards of those shops, tightly bolted- away from my sight. I'm beginning to wonder if this is the place I once knew, when I see another mirror. The corner park, and the tree I used to climb, fighting for sole rights to the top most branch. The by lanes are still filled with shady characters and swirls of smoke. And at the back of my cupboard, lies a charm bracelet with an anchor dangling from it lopsidedly. Broken, but yet quite whole.

Voices

2008-05-31T12:28:00.005+05:30

"Can I have one earphone?"
"Yeah, sure."
"OYE! What is this?!"
"Afterglow. INXS."
"It is so slow... I thought you were a rap person. You look like a rap person. Orrr.. Hip Hop!"
"Um, no. Not rap. Not hip hop either."
"So you listen to Jagjit Singh then?"

"What do you keep on studying, ego and all? How to prove you're the best?"
"Vaidu, its called ECO."

"Yeah, so there was a question in my set that said - Where should a consumer go if dissatisfied with the District Consumer Forum? So I was gonna write National Forum, but I thought,'Vasu gets State Level certificates before National Level ones, and I wrote State Consumer Forum. Guess what, it was right!"

"Kabbadiwaaleyaaaaah, paper, paper. Raddi, puraane darwaaze, kursiyaan de. Purane bartan, pankhen de. Purane fridge, computer, laptop de.."

[watching a 6 year old and a 9 year old tumbling over each other, fighting.]
"I wish I was a kid again."
"Why? So that you could physically assault someone and get away without charges?"

"Oh, shut up. I watch Roadies as a case study in interpersonal sociological dynamics."

Rain on the green grass, rain on the tree; And rain on the housetop, but not on me.

2008-05-22T12:34:00.007+05:30

You know Delhiites love the rain when they leave their houses prepared for impromptu showers, but not impromptu leaks.

Introducing Bo

2008-05-11T20:30:00.008+05:30

Meet Bo, the omnipresent, omniscient, omnipotent pseudo God, half Satan.

Bhow, bhow,
Oh my God, its Bo!
You only reap what you sow
You have hairy palms, no?
We shall go - play with Play Doh
Hona hai jo, hone do.
Listen to the crow crow
The Indian Space Research Organisation is called ISRO
You rise when its dark
The heavens break apart
And quote to thee,
Lucifer's child, the ant clark
[Six, six six! The number of the Beast!]
Prepared is thy zoic feast
Thy arrows :
Will through bone marrow
And call to blithe mortals in a low baritone
'Minions, Armageddon nears
Look to the heavens, fear oh fear'
Bo, neo Zeus
Aam, seb, ganna juice
Das rupay, paanch rupay, teen rupay glass
Aao piyo, bahut hai khaas
A glass of sang-froid stands prepared
Vlad [the Impaler] hath not better fared
Slitting the throats of a thousand kind
Slaying more monsters than you can find
Woe betide thee oh Earth and Sea
O Bo, please set us free.

[Yes, I'm back.
Will reply to comments tomorrow though, I'm awfully sorry and awfully tired too. ]

[And the *cough* exquisite poetry is courtesy the us :

l-r, that's Nik, me and Rad. In case you're planning to sue for mental harassment, just er.. forget this. You're hallucinating. Really. :|]

There's a hole in my world..

2008-04-20T13:42:00.008+05:30

& a window next to my seat
A portkey to beyond,
& a speck of green;
A gold peep though bleak black,
Vistas cradled by arcs;
& my looking glass
That makes English classes bearable.
Whew.
:|

I be back.
Soon.
:)

PS : If you care, all photographs changed. Go on, make me happy. Scroll down :D

I, Chor

2008-04-13T17:35:00.009+05:30

Tired, bored and inspirationless. Oh, and a blatant plagiarist.Shamelessly chorofied from Ish's blog :

1. Put your iPod (or other source of music) on shuffle mode.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. You must write the name of the song no matter what. No cheating!

[All Himes songs stealthily deleted. Shh. :D]

If someone says ‘Is this okay?’, you say?”
Have A Nice Day - Bon Jovi

"Is this okay?"
"Have a nice day"
"Horn okay please"
"ILU ka matlab I Love You"

Aw, deja vu. :P

-

“What would best describe your personality?”
Everybody's Fool - Evanescence

Wow, you're fast. Didn't we just begin?

“What do you like in a guy/girl?”
All The Small Things - Blink 182

I'm observant. :D

“How do you feel today?”
Dhoom Dhadaka - Kailash Kher

Yes, I'm very likely to just go whoosh! and explode soon.

“What is your life’s purpose?”
New Friend Request - Gym Class Heroes

Add me on Facebook! NOW! Quickie!
I'm not that desperate, am I? >_<

“What is your motto?”
Clocks - Coldplay

I go tick-tock the whole day.
When its 8:10 I raise my arms to do a Hrithik Roshan from Khwaja Mere Khwaja.
And at 5:30 I stand shiftily resembling someone who needs to go to the loo but can't find one.Slick.

“What do your friends think of you?”
Raba - Mekaal Hasan Band

Woohoo, I'm God? :D

“What do you think of your parents?”
Hey Bhagwan - Raghu Dixit

Yep, my parents are holy incarnates. I bow down low before thy majesty, m'lords.
Really. Whatever gave you the idea I look at them and say,"Hey Bhagwan"? :P

“What do you think about very often?”
Soch - Call

We-ell. *shrugs* At least it implies I think. :P

“What is 2+2?”
The Number Of The Beast - Iron Maiden

2+2 = 666
Finally, someone who beats my Math skills!

“What do you think of your best friend?”
She Will Be Loved - Maroon 5.

You bet she[they?] will. :)

“What do you think of the person you like?”
Black Magic Woman - Santana

Ooh, gypsy. :D

“What is your life story?”
Gudugudiya Sedi Nodo - Raghu Dixit

My life's story doesn't make any sense to me either. :P

“What do you want to be when you grow up?”
Basket Case - Green Day

Good, so at least my preparation is in the right direction.

“What do you think when you see the person you like?”
Everything Is Average Nowadays - Kaiser Chiefs

Tsk, tsk. My standards are falling? :P

“What do your parents think of you?”
Praarthna - Euphoria

Yeah, they pray for forgiveness for the torture they inflicted upon ye all. :P

“What will you dance to at your wedding?”
A Bad Dream- Keane

LOL. I'm a nightmare. *cherubic smile*

“What will they play at your funeral?”
Welcome To The Black Parade - My Chemical Romance

Because one day I'll leave you,
A phantom to lead you in the summer,
To join the black parade.

Through it all,
The rise and fall,
The bodies in the streets.
And when you're gone we want you all to know

We'll Carry on,
We'll Carry on
Though your dead and gone believe me
Your memory will carry on
We'll carry on

And in my heart I cant contain it
The anthem wont explain it.

Now I'm scared. O.o

“What is your hobby/interest?”
Kesariya Balam - Karsan Sagathiya

Listening to songs with tongue twisting names that make people raise eyebrows when I mention them, check.

“What is your biggest secret?”
How To Save A Life - The Fray

Mouth to mouth CPR. *grins*

“What do you think of your friends?”
Morni - Silk Route

My friends bounce around with weird pageant-like feathery attire?

“What should you post this as?”
Gryffindor Rocks - Harry and the Potters

:o!
Gryffindor's for the itsy bitsy puny ones.
Now Slytherin does. :D

-

Time for you, chor. :)

Untitled

2008-04-05T16:03:00.005+05:30

Nestled under the
......bougainvillea bough,
A sliver slides down
......a branch of brown;
A cocoon of hurt
......left midst a walk
Falls into the dust,
......Futile.
The monsters of wrath
......have fallen;
The aqueous bullets
......have slain.
And as I look up to the heavens:
......I breathe in the rain.

Links shinks et cetera

2008-03-30T18:43:00.003+05:30

If you've bet on me to retaliate in full fury , go clicketty click and land up on Nik's blog to see my guest post.

If you have extra balance/want to advertise your blog/need to look for lost daughters/are searching for missing English text books/are in love with me/are plain bored, there's a little something at the end of this you might not want to miss. :)

If none of the above. Ah well. Gerrlost. You're supposed to love me. Hmph.

Armageddon

2008-03-24T19:58:00.004+05:30

[Nik and I swapped. We presumed the world was sick of our self obsessed, narcissistic selves gloating about who else, but us, on our respective blogs, so we thought a diss war on each other would be a welcome change. Breathe, world for you have been salvaged!]

Vasudha's been nagging me for the past week now to write a post for her as a guest blogger. And since it seems she has managed to teach her pigs to fly and then retrieve the Pandora's Box from an eagle's nest somewhere in North America, I caved.

Vasudha is the kind of person who, on first encounter, will most probably cause you to assume that she is naturally brilliant. But the bright blinding light of intelligence will ~~slowly and~~ quite steadily wane to reveal the inherent idiocy and conspicuous lack all things sensible. You will also soon realize that the kid is completely and utterly insane.
Justifications for this statement would number in the hundreds of millions, one of them being BIRDIE. Birdie is Vasudha's creation and, I quote her, a creation of pure and unadulterated genius. It is a robotic bird whose primary and only purpose is to "stare off" predators (such as: butterflies, fairies form Neverland and furry woodland creatures.) (...) Now you judge and say whether anything with a brain larger than the size of half a pea could have come up with Birdie?
If you remain unconvinced of of my proclamation that She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is psychotic, simply strike up a conversation with Her. All your doubts and misgivings will be decimated.

Despite the fact that Vasudha plays host to traits that would instill treacherous fear in the heart of Hector, I respect her. The reason for this respect is a solitary one: she managed to bring US down to tears.
It was in the tenth grade that US requested her class to give her a unabashed, candid and frank teacher's review. Unfortunate as it may seem, Vasudha was a student of the very class and of course the sadist in her would not let such an opportunity to torment pass. So, as the circumstance presented, she got up and told US that she is the most unforgivably wretched, abysmal and inept teacher that ever disgraced the face of the Earth. Having managed to denigrate and belittle the teacher in a civil and courteous tone and demeanor she wasn't hauled down to the Principle's office for insubordination (no reaming.. lamentable, I agree.) On the contrary a magnificent image that stirs and inspires faith in righteousness was permanently seared into the minds of the students of the class, an image of US welling with tears. Each student in that class is indebted to Vasudha.

Now I'm pretty sure I'm the one in for a reaming, but I hope I managed to unveil the real Vasudha, the unhinged senseless sadist.

-Nik (aka: Nangia, Absentmindednik, Sadist, Cynic, Demented Dumbass, Plain Queer, All that is Wrong with the World, Abominable Being)

In my defence, I reply :
1. Birdie was a robot Nik's brother was planning to make when were in the 9th standard. He was the head of the Robotics dept in his school, and this was his official entry to some Japanese robot making competition. She gave me the cue for it, I only developed on the hints. And it was funnier than this. Hmph.

2. I didn't slaughter the poor teacher, aww her. I just *cough* pointed out some flaws in her teaching method and educational outlook. And said that she um, needed to restart the course [This was in July] since we had basically registered naught, which she did. She hated me with a vengeance after that, still does in fact. She would have been my class teacher had I taken Science, and in the week that I did have Science, she made me realise why my decision to shift was the most extraordinary stroke of brilliance ever, gloriously beating naked Eureka moments.

Links very generously provided by Her Absentmindedness, Nik.
Oh, and its a mutual guest blogging project. Leaves scope for revenge. Check her blog next week. :D

Help, the Orkut desperadoes are invading reality!

2008-03-20T18:29:00.008+05:30

Shh. They're creeping up towards you, silently. Swiftly. Those shadows, they just wavered. There are pin pricks on your neck. They're gaining fast, on tip toes, stealthily. And in one fluid motion they're gonna land right below you ear and whisper softly,"Hiiiiii! Can I do fraandsips with you?"

Yes, m'fraands er, friends, the Orkut desperadoes taketh over. Previously thought to be confined to the shady interiors of your friendly neighborhood cyber cafes, they're coming fast. And how.

13th February, 2008
School reception

The teachers are having a Lohri party of sorts in the staff room, and I'm filling in for the receptionist. The things you have to do just because you're the only bakra on offer, since the Science section has practicals and the rest have prep leave. I sit, resigned. There's a sheaf of blank paper sheets in front of me and I'm waiting for inspiration to strike. But honestly, inspiration can do naught but yawn, looking at me grappling with a distraught mother on the phone who's daughter left her report card in school. So I well, yawn too.

Then, this wiry looking guy walks in, looks around, and rubs his tongue over his wiry looking lips. Let's call him RODT.

RODT : Oh hi. I'm from Oxford Univ Press. Can I meet your Princi?
Me: Princi? Um, right. She's um, occupied at the mo' [rather helpful thumping noise from the staff room], so why don't you have a seat?
RODT : Thank you SO much. Are you in this school?
Me: Uh huh.
RODT : Do you study in this school?
Me: Not really. I mean, yes. Yeah. [starts nodding head real fast]
RODT : I'm doing my MBA.
Me: Oh, um, alright. Glad to know that.
RODT : What class are you in?
Me: 11th.
RODT : I'm Rahul.
Me: Oh. Okay.
RODT : What is your name?
Me: [thinking this is going to be a long day] Vasudha.
RODT : Vaasdha?
Me: No. [pointed stare] Vuh-su-dha.
RODT : Okay! Hi, Vasudha!
Me: Um.
RODT : I like your uniform. Its not skirt-shirt, no? Is it some order or something?
Me: I don't think I would know.
RODT : You are in Science stream?
Me: Nah, Commerce. [Yay, stereotype one. Reason number one to bust this guy]
RODT : Commerce? Oh, even I was from Commerce!
Me: Yeah? Great. [Thanks a God, if any, that the guy didn't say same pinch]
RODT : So so. How much did you get in the tenth?
Me: Um. 93%.
RODT : What? 93% in Commerce?
Me: [Must not hit...must not hit...must not hit...] Yes. 92.8% Whatever.
RODT : Oye hoye! [?!] I got 76% in twelfth. And in my final year graduation, I got 66%. My dad says,"Log toh upar jaate hai, you toh only down jaate ho." I don't know, he is always so dissatisfied with me. Kya yaar.
Me: [O.o Starts beaming out frantic SOS signals] Hey, that's okay. Still a first division. *big cheery grin* [fake]
RODT : Yeah. So what are you planning to do after this?
Me: Huh!? After this?
RODT : After 12th yaar!
Me: Oh. That. Um, I don't know. Something in advertising, I guess.
RODT : Oh ho, so you are a creative person then!
Me: Um, maybe?
RODT : Even I am a creative person yaar. I am going to do advertising after my MBA too.
Me: Good Lord, no..
RODT : What, what?
Me: Me? Nothing, really. *big cheery grin again* [fake]
RODT : Very nice. You know, I like creative peoples very much. So, take one more card of mine, okay? This is a special card for creative peoples like me. So keep in touch, okay? *big cheery grin* [not fake]
Me: [Yeah, I'll keep in touch if it involves kicking wiry asses] Um, right.

I take the special card from his outstretched hand. At the back of it, unlike on the card he gave to be given to my Principal, in big bold letters, is a ten digit phone number.

*

Half an hour later, I rub my hands after a job well done. Every kid from the Science section who had their Chemistry practical that day is in possession of a number they can now call in case they need to creatively tackle their boredom with tales of missing socks, or fires in the bathroom. After all, if the Random Orkut Desperado Types start taking over the world, can the evil She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named Sorts be far behind? :D

----*****----

Update : 30/03/08

Go play. *grins*

Bad day

2008-03-12T20:32:00.005+05:30

There was this nice, happy time once.
A time when I liked Holi.

I fucking hate Holi now.
I mean, really. Do people have to go around on scooters banging eggs into other people's heads? Or into my head?
Or grease covered balloons on my tuition books when I'm right outside my tuition center?

Ah, tuition. That reminds me. I have a new batch. No, no 60 kids sitting in two neat gender based sections this time. It gets better. 6 guys one side, and thy mighty me in the corner on one edge. Woe betide me if I dare tread their side *mock horror*, they will swiftly push their chairs away as far as they can. Woe betide me if I dare initiate a conversation, I am the other species. Woe betide you if you ask me a doubt, the others will stare. And woe betide me if I dare suggest you take my notebook instead of trying to copy the answer discreetly whenever you think I'm not looking.
But I digress.
This is a Holi rant, isn't it?
My neck hurts. The guy was too late with the egg, it burst in his hand, and it was the hand that hit me. I'm strong right? I went ahead till I reached home, shaken but stoic. I walked in, where no one noticed anything since they were too busy with the telly. I'm still strong, so I went upstairs, where my mum told me to take a rickshaw back next time onwards, and get the stink out of my head. I'm really, really strong, so I went to the bathroom to get everything washed out, and as I locked the door, it was only then that I started crying.
Damn.
Bad day.

PS : If you dare comment saying,"Bura na maano, Holi hai;" I will personally roast you alive.

The Idiot's Guide to Hacking Into Your Younger Sister's Windows Account

2008-03-11T17:35:00.001+05:30

1. Switch on computer.

2. Click on naive-younger-sister's Windows account icon.

3. Ah, you need to enter the password. Click on password hint.

4. Password hint says "Pass word."

5. Pause.
Ponder.
Think of your sister's favorite telly shows.
Hmm.
Recess, Hannah Montana, Lizzie McGuire, Drake and Josh.

6. Type in p-a-s-s-w-o-r-d and press Enter.

7. Bingo.

*

Power to thin brained simpleton siblings! :D

Yes, a post!

2008-03-02T17:07:00.012+05:30

[Alright, so that makes it sound like I think that you think that I think I am overly excited at a new post, right? Well, if you got that, and you think so, then yep, I am!]

So Shruti tagged me, and here goes nothing!
The Rules:

Link to the person that tagged you.

Post the rules on your blog.

Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself.

Tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs.

Let each random person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their website.

#1
I like classifying my songs. I have long-car-drives songs [Strings], 12 AM songs [Coldplay], songs for a particularly Ima-do-what-I-want day [Old Bon Jovi stuff, think Dead or Alive, or Blaze of Glory] et al. I actually got up today at 6 [in the morning for a change], got my iPod, arranged my hair in a suitably wild manner, and put on my best rocker on a mission sneer. Then I plugged in the earphones, played You Give Love a Bad Name, and did the whole on-stage routine in front of my bathroom mirror, ~~singing~~ shouting along, until my Mum started banging on the door. It was to beat, so I thought she was probably being appreciative of my performance. Until she barged in and said she'd thwack me hard if I didn't quit it. Sigh. I shall remain an undiscovered musical genius.

[And yes, digression shall live as long as I am alive.]

#2
I hate typing out things. I can never think of things to say when I'm typing. Most of my posts are first written out at night, proof read, typed out, and posted. Give me a black pen [Black is important] and a notebook, and I'll fill it up and return it within the hour. Talk to me online, and you'll be waiting for fifteen minutes to get a reply from me. My lack of conversational skills online are second only to my complete uselessness on the phone.

#3
I can happily spend an entire hour doing nothing but listening to music and reading.
In the bathroom.

#4
I hate stepping on the edges of tiles. I like to walk one foot bang in the middle of one tile, next foot on the opposite adjacent tile on top when I'm walking on tiled floors. Stepping on the lines is a cardinal sin.

#5
I don't know if this is weird, but no one else I know admits to it. I really like going to school. Okay, so it is weird. But I don't know, I like the place. I've never taken leave unless I could help it, or if I have, it was only so I didn't get the nerdy looking 100% certificate. Maybe its something to do with the fact that the school magazine has articles titled "The Ultimate Guide To Handle Post Break-up Blues." Go, freedom of creative expression! :D

#6
I think this tag is an oxymoronish tag. How can I write six non important things about myself? If its about me, its important! :D
More important stuff then, because I think the blog is looking quite dreary, and well, I feel like putting up some snaps. There, no more justification required.
[In case you're wondering, I also suffer from having an incredibly bloated up self image, though I sometimes swing to self deprecating too]

I like photography, or whatever little I can do of it with my ancient 3.2 megapixel camera.

Enough fodder for a day, I guess. And I tag :

Abhilasha
Bharat
Disha
Nik
Radhika
You! :D

Swings

2008-02-12T15:47:00.000+05:30

Remember the exhilarating rush of air that almost went through you the last time you sat on a swing? As if the breeze wanted to thwack you hard and say, "Fool! You rebuffed me for so long for the wily charms of a piece of wired metal?" Remember being held back, being bound by the chains of the swing, and yet being so free? The reassurance that you could just press your feet down and the world would instantly, miraculously, cease to rush? The satisfaction of being the master of your own invisible parabolic path? Of being at one with the wind; of being the mighty unseen itself? The innate joy on knowing that all it took to proceed for evermore was keeping your best feet forward? That all it took to rise above the rest of the world was your own self? That life could be as lazily slow or as spurtively fast as you chose to make it? That jumping mindlessly off the swing at its curved peak gave some crazy inner pleasure that no safe and staid thing could? Because risks pay off. Because when you're at the top, all of life's inanities seem just so mundane, so futile, and so...trivial.
Live. Breathe. Now.

Images

2008-02-03T18:20:00.000+05:30

A Metro ride.
A young child pushing his mother ahead on a wheelchair. The Metro jolts to a stop. The child loses balance. The wheelchair moves topsy-turvily. A face freezes, numb; unaware, or reeling under a shock. A youth rushing to his feet. Strong hands clamping the handles. The reappearance of a smile. The sweaty backside of a hand being rubbed against a forehead in relief.

A Metro ride.
A crowded station. People getting back from work. A foreigner being stared at. The foreigner being jostled inside. A snigger. Poochh gore se kahaan se tapka hai? Feet being shuffled nervously. Eyes kept low. Dekhta hai jaise Hindustan par robe chalta hai, saala. Eyes being closed. Another pair of eyes glaring.

A Metro ride.
Announcements.
Please do not befriend any strangers on the Metro station or trains.
Metro station vaha rail par kisi anjaan aadmi se baat naa karen.

A Metro ride.
Scalding tea and a freezing brownie. A panic attack under urgent suppression; postponement. A lone shiver. A lone passenger waiting. Silence. My solitary shadow trespassing the rail tracks, only to be erased by an incoming train that breaks through my thoughts. A welcome break.

Winters

2008-01-30T20:23:00.000+05:30

Golden streams cascading down
My eyes bow low before who
Lulling me softly to a world beyond
The rich amber an intoxicating dream

Early morning tingles
A shiver upon my brow
Cold marble beneath my feet
A lazy ether locked tightly in a jar

Hot soup and Parmesan sprinkles
Guised alien woolen quadruplets
Long hot water baths
Extra large Fries

Human puffballs
Five-minute-more naps
Five-rupee-coffee breaks
Five-AM dark skies
Five-PM fiery hues

Rediscovering winter-y songs
Deja vu
Losing yourself
Peek-a-boo with life
Thought treks
Oddities and oddness
Contentment.

Business Studies

2008-01-28T19:17:00.000+05:30

Ever wondered how much happier a place the world would be if jeans' manufacturers tagged their jeans two sizes too small?

I've been studying. Yeah, right.

Clothes maketh the woman, and irketh the parents

2008-01-20T14:53:00.000+05:30

Yesterday was one of my Damn-I-Care Dress Days. Damn-I-Care Dress Days usually involve one or more of the following : neon coloured hair extensions, ties, copious amounts of kohl, fishnet ankle socks, fingerless gloves, Tantra tees, and ribbons as laces [I have a thing for clothes, don't I? :P] Yesterday's inspiration for Damn-I-Care Dress Day was Billie Joe Armstrong. Use a simple Permutation and Combination formula [the same P and C things ~~you learnt~~ your teacher taught in class] and you get a fair idea of what I looked like. By some weird twist of fate I have yet to figure out, Damn-I-Care Dress Days coincide with Days People Pretend To Not Know Me. You go figure. :P

So how do I manage to get permission to step out of the house looking like a punk reject? Presenting : The 123 strategy for successfully manipulating parents to agree with your dressing sensibilities!
*pauses for applause*
Ah, thank you, thank you. And you!
*wipes proud tear from eye*

Without further ado:

Step 1:
Choose a suitable, spectacle free time to present yourself.

If your mum is like mine, she's probably busy for most part of the day. Plus she's absent minded, so she's pretty likely to forget where she last kept her specs. Like I say [and she vehemently denies], age catches up. There's your break. Seize the moment. Ask her how you look. Since she won't admit to the failing eyesight, she'll have to make do with a blurry view. Parental egos can be helpful sometimes. So the mother pretends to look intrigued, when inside she is in a state of utter mental turmoil.

YOU - "How do I look, Mum?"

MUM BRAIN IN ACTION - "That get up is sort of weird, isn't it? Stop. Are those even clothes? Note to self : wear lenses permanently. If I say she looks blasphemous, she'll ask her whys and hows. Which, curse those glasses, I can't answer. Pfft. Un-blasphemous is safer."

MUM - "Um, good. Yeah."

Slick.
Easy does it.

*

Step 2:
The Mind Game

What does your average, normal teen love the most? Disagreeing with her parents on most matters. What do your average, normal parents love the most? Disagreeing with their most-unlike-us-when-we-were-sensible-adolescents teen on most matters. How do you tap into this humongous potential source of freedom? Just think of what a goody, goody you from a parallel universe would say. Thought? Now play the reel backwards.

YOU - "Hey, mum. Don't I look absolutely scruffy?"

MUM BRAIN IN ACTION - "Absolutely WHAT?! Isn't that MY dialogue? Oh Ram, Ram. None of the Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi episodes showed Tulsi handling this. What do I do? Dharm Sankat. Breathe in, breathe out. Count to 10. 1..2...3...4.. Beep, beep. One message received. Normal Parental Response says to contradict the little high headed miss. Ha! Take that, o kid of mine! I will NOT agree to what you say! Mwahahaha!

MUM - "Why, not really, no. You look pretty spiffing good!"

YOU - "Haan, matashree. Aapke vichaar sarvochch satya hain."

I'm an agyakaari daughter. :P

*

Step 3:
Tap the You're-My-Idol Advantage

Now that you've gone past base camp, you need to ensure it withstands future outings too. Give an indirect ego boost. Butter up!

YOU - "This brooch looks good, doesn't it? Exactly like the one in your college reunion photograph, no?"

MUM BRAIN AT THOUGHT - "What a pet! She absolutely adores me! And that brooch really does go with those, um, shreds of cloth. Even if it is barely visible under those...whatever they are. At least she thought of wearing it, my perfect little punkster princess! Siiiiiigh."

MUM -" *overcome with emotion* Yes, dear. * gulp* It does."

YOU - *saintly smile*

And there you have it.
Strike three, and OUT! :D

Procrastination

2008-01-18T16:20:00.000+05:30

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[Till my final exams only :)]

Composite Demand

2008-01-18T06:00:00.000+05:30

In my Economics class :

Q. Name a commodity possessing composite demand.

Ans. A Colgate 360 toothbrush with a tongue cleaner at the back.

Well, I did get the concept right.
*smiles gingerly*

Whaadever Stuff

2008-01-12T11:25:00.000+05:30

How do you kill two birds with one stone?
Thwack and thwack?
No.

Thwack.Thwack.
whizz.....BOOM!
Thud.

The PETA monster gets you!
Hahahahahahahahaha!
Stop, now. It isn't funny to writhe and shriek in laughter. Cough, cough.

Okay, shoot, I can't be funny to save my life.
There, count the puns.
One, two, buckle my shoe.

Argh.
The whole point of this post is......um, something.
Yes!
You kill two birds with one stone by going to Adventure Island, then riding the Sidewinder till you're tipsy, and then finishing off the day capturing a heavenly sunset.

There, I'm done now.
Scamper.

New year, same old

2008-01-08T16:10:00.000+05:30

Well begun is half done, innit? *
So how is a first day at tuition supposed to be? Do you go wearing a collared shirt with a tie and a pleated skirt and horn rimmed glasses? I wouldn't know, I never had tuitions before the XIth. Except for this Math tutor my mum once called, who lasted precisely twenty minutes. Ah well.
I have that effect on people.

Anyway, this year [yes, I know its '08, I meant academic year, genius] I finally succumbed to the money minting bag of commercialized shit called coaching centers. The first day, I reached my center early [ group tuitions, har de har!] since I had to ask about the fees and stuff. The teacher in charge of the XIth was busy, so I was shuttled away to the classroom for my batch, where I waited, listening to my iPod, blowing chewing gum bubbles, being my nonchalant best. Alright, just the iPod, but you get the picture. Just then, this guy entered, and stared at me like I was a Vogon. It might have been the clothes [Black tee, striped arm band, tie, ripped jeans, Converse high tops - okay, so at least I got the tie right. I'll learn. Pleated skirt next year. Promise :P] I goggled back, and he went and sat behind me. Next up, a girl came, gaped, rolled her eyes and scampered off to the seat farthest away from where I was. I checked the address I was given nervously, sighed and went back to J-Timberlake telling me what went around came around. Since this didn't do much to raise my [pretty low] spirits, I slumped resignedly in my chair and waited for everyone else to come. The girls smirked, or gave me the eyes, while the guys stood agape.
Deep breath, deep breath, deep breath.

By this time, I was through with it. I looked back, hoping to see someone, anyone I recognized, and what I saw made my jaw drop.

Neatly divided into two blocks, and each acting oblivious to the other's presence, sat everyone. The girls all on one side, and the guys on the other.......the side right behind me. I coloured. Making a social faux pas on Day 1 hadn't been that high on my priority list. One involving 60 pairs of eyes on me less so.

Its been six months since I joined, but even then the sexist demarcation never ceases to amaze me, even though I'm the only person at tuition from a non coed school. Especially since I'm the only person at tuition from a non coed school.

But its the new year, and I guess the psychological desire to initiate a change at the crack of a new anything [Monday diets, anyone? :P] has finally seeped in at my coaching institute too.

Because now, fellow humans, and ye gods of humanity, the time is ripe for change.

And therefore, [emphasize therefore] the boys and girls have..............
.............swapped sides.
Touche.

*Also, alls well that ends well.

Tomorrow

2008-01-03T22:26:00.000+05:30

Tomorrow is the day school reopens after the winter vacation.

Tomorrow is also the day I get back my second Unit exam sheets.

Tomorrow is the day that threatens to make my blog updates a little intermittent.

Tomorrow is the day..... *gulps* I am not really looking forward to.

Misery

2007-12-30T17:10:00.000+05:30

I hate this.
No, I loathe it.

Having to get up at 9 AM on a Sunday - Bad.
Seeing you got up because there's a water pipe leakage over your head - Worse.
Freaking out when you see your new, unread books have been given an unwanted complimentary bath - Worst.

[And to top it all, the books that drip when I hold them up aren't even the ones I bought for myself, they're the ones I got as some scholarship thingamajig from my dear, dear school.

Alright, so you can chuck the dear, dear bit, but I did want to read East of Eden and Ana Karenina! :( ]

Noticing that your Business Studies textbook survived the flood?
Conclusive proof that God is a sadist.

Tic Tap Toe

2007-12-27T17:01:00.000+05:30

A drop of clear
Glistens, and escapes the pored steel;
Rests on the finger edge,
Hesitatingly.
Unsure, cowardly.
But joined by a droplet new,
The show off then gets his cue;
And a journey begins.

With the dawn of redeeming grace

2007-12-25T12:15:00.000+05:30

Its Yuletide season folks, and you better hope you've been good the year through cause THIS is my official wish list :D

For Aanchal, Prerna, Pratikshya, Ankita Needi and Kika - The marks, the grades, and the 'no-studying's! Oh, and the treat! :)

For Nikita - 2390. :D

For Disha -

For Akanksha - NLSIU, and respite from evile, scheming Chem teachers.

For Shalvi - Time enough to meet us lesser beings :P

For Sukanya - An easier partner. :)

For Geetika - More CNN IBN features.Some that I manage to remember to see. :P Oh, and a normal, functioning cell phone.

For Kunal - The happiness you want, and the happiness you need! :)

For Anahita - More posts!

For Shayeri - Respect for thy humble opponents.Commerce people can be fun.Roar!

For Nitya - A stable existence :P

For Swastee, Varuna, and all ye sleeping bloggers - *puts ice cubes down your back[s]*

For Shrimp, Harleen, Diya Aditi, and Nim - More occasions to showcase them dance moves, babbeh!

For Shreya and Tanti - Doing them dance moves. :| :P

For Radhika, Sadhvi, and Saloni - HMMing times :)

For Meha and Shivani - Survival. :P

For Kandy - Hugs! :D

For Shilpi - Boxing gloves.

For Ishani and Kriti - Dal Makhani. :P

For Jen and Sanya - A normal-ish looking magazine. :D

For Hooper and Saniya - Mujhko man ki shakti dena, photographs email kar doo. :P

For Harini - Since I don't know you well as yet.... more posts, getting to know you? :)

For Wacko - [quote] .......an identity of my own on Facebook [unquote] :P

For all my blogroll-ers - Nice [?], healthy, regularly updated blogs!

For everyone else I missed due to amnesia/plain stupidity/normal crazy behaviour - Christmas MERI hai! :D Gah.I sound dumb.Merry Christmas!

PS - My stocking yielded [among other things] a nail trimmer from my sister.Sukanya would know.Long, filthy nails, no? :P

PPS - My dawn is at 12:15 :D

Stuff.

2007-12-22T23:01:00.000+05:30

[Found this while draft-cleaning, dated November last year.I creep myself out sometimes. :| ]

Sometimes laughing all the time isn't such a good thing. People think that's all what you are. And when you've laughed at everything, every time, you reach a point when you can't do it anymore. You're not permitted to maybe, by some great natural law of things. You just can't laugh things off. You can't do anything. You're the one who laughed so hard, you cried. And then, when you want to cry, you can't. You're this great blob of something that exists. Barely. You feel like an emotionless sadist. You know you're supposed to feel bad because you've inadvertently hurt someone, and yourself, but you can't. The tears don't flow anymore. You hate yourself for being so cold, so uncaring, so hollow, so unfeeling, but you can't do anything about it. You just see it happening in front of you - you, sitting there, just being, your eyes reflecting the vacuum inside, the nothingness around you. You don't feel pain, you don't feel dread, you don't fear anything. You won't do anything reckless, because you're just not there. Because you're okay.
And you see yourself there. Okay.
Time stops. You're listening to a song on your iPod, and you don't know when it ended, what was playing. You're eating. Something. Maybe.
You know it all, yet you don't. But you're okay.
You're calm inside. It might be the lull before the storm. Or the peaceful smile on a dead face. Who knows? You don't. Yet, you do. Because you're okay.

And then, in a moment of blurriness, you let go. You're looking at old things, you're yourself again. You can't help yourself, everything comes tumbling out. You're laughing. And crying.
And then, it subsides.
Blankness.
You close your eyes.
You're okay.
And then, you smile.
You're "okay".

And this...

2007-12-09T14:56:00.000+05:30

....is called a post!
Mwahahaha.

Sigh.
*yawns*

Mwaaaah and hellooo dahlings!

2007-11-24T16:34:00.000+05:30

Okay, whirlwind week is over and I am back with a vengeance!

Last week was spent taking part in a blogumentary making competition for NDTV, and boy, did I have fun! :D Made friends with the Jantar Mantar security guard, a Bhelpuri vala, and a flower seller at the Hanuman Mandir flower market [which incidentally, is Asia's largest flower market.Betcha didn't know that.Neither did I.] Also played taash with three guys in a park and hit a six while paying gulli cricket. [Yay! I rule!] Of course, it was the on the seventh attempt, but you're not supposed to know that, are you?

Oh, and I found this.......um..man, who eats grass for a Guinness record, in Central Park! Freaky.He just came up when we were shooting, said he'd been on Aaj Tak, and Zee News, so he should be on NDTV too.Then this other guy came up, shouting, "Main khilaoonga, main khilaoonga!" so we roped them both in for a 10 second scene.And just when we'd finished setting up everything, this crowd had gathered that wanted to be on TV too, so we took THEM also, and by the end of it, we had a nice li'l chaotic scene : Sanya [did I mention? Our team was me and her] saying, "Presenting, GRASS MAAAAN!Ta-daaaa!", a guy stuffing grass into GrassMan's mouth, he eating like a cannibal and the crowd applauding.Oh, and people almost came and asked for autographs! :P

Today was the final, all-important results shoot.[Twas a competition, didn't I say? :o] And well, I'm not saying who won.Just that I was very surprised by the results.And very happy.
There.Didn't say anything, did I? :P

Anyway, so I shall be on national television, and so shall be my flick.1st of December, NDTV MetroNation, 10:30 AM, repeat at 3:00 PM.[I don't even get the channel on my TV!] I look like an arse, I'm wearing pink [@ Prerna], and signed posters go on eBay on 2nd.
Till then, ciao munchkins! :P

Is it too late for an introduction?

2007-11-23T20:54:00.000+05:30

[Alright, so I realised my first post isn't really a first post so as to speak.Fine, so it tells you a lot about who I am [read:lame, warped out, and well, dumb at times, the kinda person you'd roll you eyes at] but it doesn't say anything about who I am.So,here.you.go. :) ]

I think
More than I speak;

I imagine
More than I do.

But I celebrate
More than I lament;

That is why
I am.

I stop
More than I proceed;

I gaze
More than I look.

But I live
More than I wish;

And that is why
I am.

Light & Dark

2007-11-09T13:41:00.000+05:30

May the light of vision,
Conquer the dark,
The glorious ever echoing beams,
Never waver,
And shine through
Your life.

[Not an sms :D]

Happy Diwali!

PS : At the talk I had to give the fifth standard on the Environment Club's Anti-Cracker Campaign.

Me : So why do you burn crackers anyway?

Random fifthie : Because it prevents dengue!

Memefied :)

2007-11-02T21:26:00.000+05:30

Tagged by SporadicBlogger :D

List 5 things that you want to say to people but never will. Dont say who they are.

Yes, you're right.Its your fault.
Your school, so what?
I'm the bestest.Okay?Good.
Anything on Pizza other than cheese sucks.
----------- [I can never shut up.Even when I should.Gah.]

Five Things I’d Love To Do Before I Die

Sky dive
Make people believe in themselves, and stop acting like inferiors, thinking their opinion doesn't count.
Colour my hair blue
Stand up for a cause, and take it to completion
Write something I can really be proud of
[Sorry, this list is too long :)] Make an entire seven course meal without setting fire to the kitchen
Convince someone to eat the seven course meal

Five Things I Will Not Do Even If It Kills Me

Give in to an argument without a nice, long ( and sometimes rational ) counter argument
Read my Business Studies out of my own free will
Do a Britney Spears and get photographed without me knickers.Ugh.
Stick to people because they're labeled cool.
Eat sushi.I'm a nice, considerate kid, especially when it comes to fish :)

Five Things I Do When I’m Away From The Public

Practice my ispheshul dance moves :P
Hog on food.Oh, wait.In public too.So what? =)
Read.The public doesn't let me read. :(
Hmmm.
Go on, exercise your grey cells. :D

Five Fave Sentences/Quotes

To live and not to breathe is to die in tragedy. [Jesus of Suburbia, Greenday]
It is known that there are an infinite number of worlds, simply because there is an infinite amount of space for them to be in. However, not every one of them is inhabited. Therefore, there must be a finite number of inhabited worlds. And finite number divided by infinity is as near to nothing as makes no odds, so the average population of all the planets in the Universe can be said to be zero. From this it follows that the population of the whole Universe is also zero, and that any people you may meet from time to time are merely the products of a deranged imagination. [H2G2]
Can you put an a/c on your dining table and get thandi hawa? [My accountancy teacher]
Some dance to remember, some dance to forget [Hotel California, Eagles]
We shall now have a little public speaking in public [English class]

Five Things I’ll Make You Wish You Didnt Do, If You Did

Rebuff me if I answer your question with 42.
Say, "You listen to Pakistani Rock Music?!?! EURGH!!"
Order a Veggie Supreme for me at Pizza Hut
Interrupt me when I'm proving a point.I shall glare, and ask pointedly if I am allowed to speak with your permission.
Ask why I've taken up Commerce if I like Physics, and hate Business Studies and Accounts.

Five People To Tag

Aanchal
Prema
Dish
Anahita
Shayeri
Nik
Wacko
Sukam/Aku/Shallwe, if it gets any of them to start a blog :]

My Math skills are pretty non existent.
And I like it that way :)

One a penny, two a penny, hot cross buns

2007-10-26T17:34:00.000+05:30

You haven't lived if you haven't ever had a typical Indian send off.A Typical Indian Send off [new grammar rules, let the hyphen RIP!] [TIS] usually consists of the following:

1.Your hosts [think the Mummy, Papa, Dada,Dadi,Chacha,Chachi,Pappu,Babloo],Kanta Bai,Bahadur Bhaiya,Tommy,Twinkle Toes coming to the door to see you off.

2.The neighbours peeping through their door, and asking who'd come over.

3.The kids playing football in the street stopping to make way for your car, and then staring exasperatedly at you while you sniff, and hug, and sniff and hug, and sniff and hug, for some half an hour.

Now, if you're supremely unlucky, you'll also be made to eat dahi [think : Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi], like my mum did before my first Board Exam in the Tenth.[I puked it out! I was so nervous, I threw up! :P]

Anyway, so last week, my mum went to Kochi to visit her one of friends from school.Like a nice, dutiful joint Indian family, all of us trudged to the door.And the nice,dutiful family we are [did I mention that earlier?] we also hugged surreptitiously, and loaded the car, and stood there, waiting for her to leave for the airport.

Now this is a rather aimless post.And it also not about the TIS.Hence, I continue.

Now this is where it got fun.A sadhu came by, walking briskly, when seeing us, he stopped.He was of the typical orange clothes, braided, and messed about hair variety, and had a steel katora for alms.He looked at a watch on his wrist.He seemed to be calculating something, and then he frowned.Suddenly, he looked up."Shiv raksha karega, havaii udaan ki raksha karega, de de beta,ma ki bhalai hogi" I grinned, I mean, there's only so much of havaii udaan ki raksha I can take.The sadhu continued, promising safety at a rupee a bone, oblivious to my cynicism.Seeing he wasn't getting any attention, he gave me one last remorseful look, and went along his way.The car left.I closed the door, just about to latch it.

Suddenly, I heard him.I opened the door."Number ek sau do kahan hai?"
I went out, pointed out the house and saw him amble his way; making his way to the house where he had to perform a puja.So we were the in betweens - a quick buck while he was early for something else.

I stared.He was being greeted with garlands and people huddled to touch his toes, while he had
an expression of utmost serenity etched on his face. In the distance, I could just about hear-
"Aap itni jaldi aa gaye, Babaji?"
I sighed and latched the door shut.

PS: Sacrosancity is constantly evolving, my friends.And who wants to stick to the old anyway? So,
Do you wanna Mata?
Oh a Mata,
Do you wanna Mata?
Love me, love me say!

His only lament.

2007-10-09T15:35:00.000+05:30

A mind bogglingly congested array of buildings. People clamoring out, rubies on their necks and the diamonds on their cuffs sparkling in the golden sunlight. Enough distraction to confuse just about anyone. Just about, though. Not me. I could see my target, my salvation, clearly among them - jostling with the gem laden. His flamboyance brought that familiar hardness back to my eyes. He just didn't.....care.

How could he not care? Millions had perished at his will; wives, children, parents...MY wife, MY children, MY parents. He didn't care; his opulence continued, as did my destruction. The caring was left for me to do, wasn't it?

I had to carry the burden of my survival - he wore his on his sleeve. I had to deal with the guilt of still living while others ravaged - his exploitative expeditions were a cause for celebration. My vision fogged as my reminiscence continued. I'd returned home, joyous, only to find corpses strewn around. Shattered windows : the glass of my shattered dreams. How could he?
I vowed I would show him what he'd done. Torment him the way he had tormented me.What was my folly, after all? That I lived in a country whose leader was one he couldn't see eye to eye with? Or that I was of a religion he found contemptuous, and to uplift us [oh, what moral values] he would first have to control us, showing his might by killing us?

Did he have to climb through mountainous ruins, searching a pulse in his lifeless son's body?
Did his parents mouths get eternally parted, uttering their son's name with their last breath?

The wind brought a chilling shiver to my bones and broke through my thoughts.I shifted, readjusting my position.I cross checked everything, and whispered a silent prayer, as the bomb on my jacket ticked its last.

Me, write? iType.

2007-09-24T19:44:00.000+05:30

This is for Prerna, ref: the comment on the last post :)

I write
Strings of words
Multi layered strains
Meaningful chains
Mutilated veins
And abrupt endings.

You know...no,you don't

2007-09-19T15:44:00.000+05:30

Open my eyes
To blinding light
To scorching truth
To endless sight

Let me fall
Into the realms of black
Home of soul; nest of dreams
Let the saga then unfold
Let my eyes meet my soul

And then I will see
With quiet content
The vision not
Of what I could be
But of the being
I have become.

[If its any help in understanding it, I have a power of -2.75.Now read it again :P ]

You know - 2

2007-09-09T18:10:00.000+05:30

You know economists can be a yawn stimulating-ly unimaginative bunch when the new economic policy in 1991 is christened NEP.

New Economic Policy.

You know...

2007-09-08T21:18:00.000+05:30

You know India is a cricket crazy nation when the electricity goes for 3 hours and returns at exactly 2 : 44 PM

India v/s England : 2:45 IST, ESPN/Star Cricket

Diddle-daddle-doo

2007-08-22T17:14:00.000+05:30

This is not another one of them posts where I have nothing to say, I go beating around the bush for five lines, and then click publish.
Four lines is easier :P

So, here's something to feast your eyes on.

Oh, by the way.
Happy Independence Day :)

That isn't me, in case you're wondering. Though I did fly kites.And oooh, I cut two too! :D
My own, though :|

Stereotypes Part 1

2007-08-02T20:33:00.000+05:30

The first question I got asked at tuition : Science or commerce?
The first question I got asked at gym : Commerce or humanities?

So the Science people exercise their brain cells, and the Humanities folks exercise their umm, muscle cells?

And what about us?
Ah.We do both :D
All hail!

Outcast and rebel, reporting live

2007-07-30T16:26:00.000+05:30

Long time, no post.I've been busy :P
Anyway, all that later.

So yesterday I went for this jagran/chauki/puja.Now if you know me, you'd know I'd be a misfit at one of these.Because well, I can't fathom blaring warped hindi film songs [Krazy kiya re, mata ne, krazy kiya.Krazy, krazy,krazy.CRAZY! :| ] exclaiming your love for God, and wasting money on getting loudspeakers and tents and what not.And then after proclaiming your devotion, you reverse your car, mutter some cuss words at the guy behind you, and whizz off?Thanks, but no thanks.

I reached.
"Didn't you wear puja clothes?"
-"Huh?"
"No salwar kameez?" [I was wearing jeans and a tee :P]
-"Err...nahi...mm..."

So temme something.And this is what I inherently hate about it all.Does my spirituality depend on my clothes? Just because I'm wearing jeans, does it mean I cannot believe, that I pray any less, or that I am shallow? Oh, and yes.Does wearing a salwar kammez automatically make me diligently religious and a true follower?Am I incapable of any sin just because I'm wearing something?

So you say my clothes dictate my beliefs.And my actions are trivial.
The blatant hypocrisy is enough reason for me to not go again.And I won't.

Utterly nonsensicial musings of a bored bleuh-ger : Four dementions.

2007-07-17T15:38:00.000+05:30

1.I don't feel like writing anything.At all.Its like I just can't say anything, and I have nothing to talk about and when I finally mumble out something, I make a fool of myself by saying some stupid unrelated stuff.Like this friend of mine said,"Hey!" And I go,"Europa's covered with ice, not mice!" Oh wait.DH is out in four days.Probably that.

2.Now there's this girl in my tuition [yeah, I finally succumbed to them! :P].She spells sets as s-t-a-t-a-s-t-i-c-s.And writes A={a,e,i,o,u} or A={x:x is a vowels in the shy alphabets}.And I'm not being stuck up when I notice this, I was just amazed at level of stupidity which is part of tenth-pass.Mr Ashok Ganguly, are you listening? [Of course you aren't.I'm saying that for effect] THIS is what simplifying papers gets.NOT widespread literacy.Widespread moronity.

3.I mean Ashok Ganuly, the CBSE chairman, not Ashok Ganguly, in the Namesake.

4.I have been blogging [well.in and out] for exactly one year and two days.

18th:English debate.Get zany march-past-uniform-turned-uniform-meant-to-showcase-authority from Aditi.Miss classes.

19th:Hindi debate:Rinse,lather,repeat.

20th:Interschool dramatics.Hmm.Get on duty and/or evade classroom and watch people make a fool of themselves.

21st:DEATHLY HALLOWS! :D

22nd:Re-red Shadow Lines.Memorise [try to][maybe] discussion-speech :|

23rd: Discussion.Watch as people watch me make a fool of myself.

In limbo

2007-06-25T21:42:00.000+05:30

Would have tried something else had I got seven warlocks and an active volcano.Haven't.
Blog's on hold for now.

[Don't try making sense of that.Telling me I'm crazy is easier.Thank you.G'night.Its been nice knowing you.See?Telling me I'm crazy is a lot easier than you think.Just look at the proof.]

Passed.

2007-05-29T16:00:00.000+05:30

So I passed my tenth boards. Now I'm officially qualified to become a DTC bus conductor. Two more years before I can become a driver though. Darn.

Taggie!

2007-05-22T15:40:00.000+05:30

Tagged by the Fish.
Alright, so the ten things I love!

1.11C
My new class rocks!Its the best I've been in after 9C which was anything but dreary:catfights, patching up, teachers complaining about us, lectures by the Principal, NO studying,gangs, dumb charades,writing dumb poems in Shalvi's diary, writing dumberer songs for THE band, staring at the Math teacher[the WHOLE class, and then she'd wonder what was wrong with her], staring at the Math teacher when she wore her fave yellow sari with the yellow heels and fluorescent orange nail paint [on her toes...ugh], the Mussoorie trip, being the emcee at the Annual Day when the mic didn't work,the Math teacher resigning.
My new class looks promising....hopefully this Math teacher resigns by the end of the year too.
*crosses fingers*

2.Football in the rain!
Back when I was 9 or 10, my neighbor had just bought this Santro and because the World Cup was going on at the time, he got a football free with it.The next three weeks were spent sabotaging the back lane and playing football with all the other kids in our lane.But then, this woman realised what had actually caused all those dents in her car, and she didn't let us anywhere near it.We stopped playing.In a year, the lane got car choked [Note to self:Rapid economic growth isn't necessarily thorn-free] and we were left without a place to play.The football still lies in a corner of my neighbor's house, deflated and dusty.Sigh.

3.Velapanti with me friends
Usual sites of action : M blawwwk or ze Priya complex.We go, barge into some place and start talking [read:shouting] loudly.Try this, criticize that.Hang around inside doing nothing in particular.Oh, and it isn't without its hazards - we were thrown out of Guess once :P Once this is done, take unlimited rounds of the place; you're bound to meet someone you know.Here air kiss, and give them those fake hugs.Leave them with an accented,"Nice meeting ya, hunneh".Start all over again.
Lather.Rinse.Repeat.
Simple.And fun.

4.Imitation freak dancing
I love.This one is a regular budday party feature.Acting like you're doped and then doing all of 'em moves.So much so , I have me partners fixed by now.Nimmi and Hooper, raise ya hands and be counted!*Nimmi and Hooper say aye aye*

5.Cheering people up [:P]
Gelato.Chocolate.Lame jokes.Next up is singing Fix You in my bihari accent.

6.Acting weird
I had this entire phase in the tenth when Aku and I would talk to each other only in Hindi, which is kinda tough 'cause normally when you're conversing in Hindi, its okay if you intertwine it with a liberal dose of English.So we'd start the day with Shuch Subah [literal translation of good morning, though its never said like THAT!] and ask which adhyapika wasn't present, whether Aku had had a fight with some sakhi of hers and what she'd gone for bhojan.And the best one, Aku telling me she had to go to the shouchalaya.

7.Gazing at the sky at night
Siiiiiigh.I dunno why.I just do.Even when I'm not particularly looking for Orion.I just do.Even when there aren't any stars.I just do.Even if its just clouds or the Moon.I just do.

8.Finding stuff I wrote years back
Makes me think,"Gawd, you're just so good, woman!" Haha.More to the contrary.My fav fav fav is[and I know I posted this one long time back.I don't care.Mwahaha.So there]

All the world's a stage
And all men and women are merely players.
*faints*
Oops.
Stage fright.

9.Slumber parties!
And all the dressing up,parading,scary flicks and pillow fights [yesh Dish!Them too :P ] with them.

10.Early morning treks in the mountains
This one's more of a summer holiday ritual.Going to Mussoorie, or Dalhousie in the vacations and getting up at 5 to catch the sun rise, feeling the warmth creep up your face, watching the dew ebb away,feeling free.Fortunately we stay a li'l farther off from the city when we're in Mussoorie [Dalhousie doesn't have a city so as to speak] so its always fun just being.......yourself, and having time to think.

There, so I'm done.Thankee Fish, I'm feeling a lot better already :)

And I tag : Aanchal, Prerna, Shayeri [all of you are already tagged by Fish in any case, but I'm tagging you too...which means you HAVE to do this one!], Anahita,Geetika and the Sporadic Blogger.

Lost and found

2007-05-12T12:35:00.000+05:30

Darkness.
A stifling silence
Envelops the night.
It deafens.

A lone star
Shining through the clouds
Hope beckons.

But the night has but begun
And fear,
Fear crawls stealthily,
Moving its wily feet swiftly.
Silhouetted against the cinder black:
Grasping me.
Tearing me from within.

Then
A voice beckons,
Golden.
It streams through the darkness-
Embracing it,
Destroying it;
And then, in an unmistakable murmur,
It says,

'This blog is not dead.'

Mwahahaha.

It

2007-05-08T12:31:00.000+05:30

*bows low before Anahita for giving her something to post*

Instructions:

Look at the list of books below.

*Bold the ones you've read

*Italicize the ones you want to read

*leave blank the ones that you aren't interested in.

The Da Vinci Code (Dan Brown)
Pride & Prejudice (Jane Austen) [Read half.Got bored.Thus.]
To kill a Mockingbird (Harper Lee)
Gone with the wind (Margaret Mitchell)
The Lord of the Rings: Return of the king (Tolkien) [NO WAY AM I READING IT.Got the compiled edition from the library,squinted long and hard,read three pages,got muddled, returned it.]
The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (Tolkien) [Self explanatory]
The Lord of the Rings: The Two towers (Tolkien) [Self explanatory]
Anne of Green Gables (L.M. Montgomery) [Made a lot of mistakes, I have.This was one of them.Read only if you are super optimistic.Or a 10 year old.]
Outlander (Diana Gabaldon)
A Fine Balance (Rohinton Mistry)
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (Rowling)
Angels and Demons (Dan Brown)
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (Rowling)
A Prayer for Owen Meany (John Irving)
Memoirs of a Geisha (Arthur Golden)
Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone (Rowling)
Fall on your Knees (Anne-Marie Macdonald)
The Stand (Stephen King)
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban(Rowling)
Jane Eyre(Charlotte Bronte)
The Hobbit (Tolkien) [You seriously don't give up, do you?]
The Catcher in the Rye (J.D. Salinger)
Little Women (L.A. Alcott)
The Lovely Bones (Alice Sebold) [Mine, they were :D]
Life of Pi (Yann Martel)
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy(Douglas Adams) [Definitely one of my favourites.Yeah, moi lurvey Marvin :P]
Wuthering Heights (Emily Bronte)
The Lion, the Witch & the Wardrobe (CS Lewis)
East of Eden (John Steinbeck)
Tuesdays with Morrie (Mitch Ablom) [My mum bought it.I picked it up.Read five pages.Put it back again.]
Dune (Frank Herbert)
The Notebook (Nicholas Sparks)
Atlas Shrugged (Ayn Rand)
1984 (orwell)
The mists of Avalon (Marion Zimmer Bradley)
The Pillar of Earth (Ken Follett)
The Power of One (Bryce Courtenay)
I Know This Much is True (Wally Lamb) [And I can prove you're lying.*removes her specs a la Abhishek Bachchan in Dhoom* Wally Lamb hastily retreats and orders a change in the name.Mwahahahaha.*looks quietly content with herself*]
The Red Tent (Anita Diamant)
The Alchemist (Paulo Coelcho)
The Clan of the Cave Bear (Jean M. Auel)
The Kite Runner (Khaled Hosseini) [Amaaaaaazing book.Simple words, easy to follow, and completely moving..Absolutely recommended]
Confessions of a Shopaholic (Sophie Kinsella) [Me can't find it anywhere in the bookstores near my place :( ]
The Five People You Meet in Heaven (Mitch Albom) [Hmmm.This sounds like another one of those self help books.No, thank you]
Bible [Read it in bits and pieces :P]
Anna Karenina (Leo Tolstoy)
The Count of Monte Cristo (Alexandre Dumas)
Angela's Ashes (Frank McCourt)
The Grapes of Wrath (John Steinbeck)
She's Come Undone (Wally Lamb)
The Poisonwood Bible (Barbara Kingsolver)
A Tale of Two Cities(Dickens)
Ender's Game (Orson Scott Card)
Great Expectations (Dickens)
The Great Gatsby (Fitzgerald)[Got it as a gift.Read one chapter...:S]
The Stone Angel (Margaret Laurence)
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (Rowling)
The Thorn Birds (Colleen McCullough)
The Handmaid's Tale (Margaret Atwood)
The Time Traveller's Wife (Audrew Niffenegger)
Crime and Punishment (Fyodor Dostoyevsky) [Ha.The same book Adrian Mole read when his mum discovered the porn mags under his bed, innit? Cool.Then I'm all for it, considering the other books he read included Why Children Fail]
The Fountainhead (Ayn Rand) [Reading it currently]
War and Peace (Tolstoy)
Interview with the Vampire(Anne Rice)
Fifth Business (Robertson Davis)
One Hundred Years of Solitude (Gabriel Garcia Marquez)
The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants (Anna Bradshares)
Catch 22 (Joseph heller)
Les Miserables (Victor Hugo)
The Little Prince (Antoine de Saint Exupery)
Brigdet Jones' Diary (Fielding) [If the movie is any indication, then I'm all for it!]
Love in the Time of Cholera (Marquez)
Shogun (James Clavell)
The English Patient (Michael Ondaatje)
The Secret Garden (Frances Hodgson Burnett)
The Summer Tree (Guy Gavriel Kay)
A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (Betty Smith)
A World According to Garp (John Irving)
The Diviners (Margaret Laurence)
Charlotte's Web (E.B. White)
Not Wanted on The Voyage (Timothy Findley)
Of Mice and Men (Steinbeck) [Sounds intriguing, to say the least]
Rebecca (Daphne DuMaurier)
Wizard's First Rule (Terry Goodkind)
Emma (Jane Austen)
Watership Down (Richard Adams)
Brave New World (Aldous Huxley)
The Stone Diaries (Carol Shields)
Blindness (Jose Saranmage)
Kane and Abel (Jeffrey Archer)[Ah.My favourite Archer book.And the most riveting of 'em all.]
In the Skin of a Lion (Ondaatje)
The Lord of the Flies(Golding)
The Good Earth (Pearl S. Buck)
The Secret Life of Bees(Sue Monk Kidd) [I'd like to read the secret life of Sue Monk Kidd in that case][Hmm.And that is SOME obsession with animals...lions, flies and bees?!
The Bourne Identity (Robert Ludlum)
The Outsiders(SE Hinton)
White Oleander (Janet Fitch)
A Woman of Substance (Barbara Taylor Bradford)
The Celestine Prophecy (James Redfield)
Ulysses (James Joyce)

Hmm.20%.
Sucks man.

Bah.

Aanchal,Prerna,Fishdoodles and Geetika - I tag thee.

Addicted.

2007-05-06T22:10:00.000+05:30

Hmm.

That just might be me soon.

Dear Mr. Bal Thackerey,

2007-04-30T15:29:00.000+05:30

I wish to express my complete support to the Shiv Sena's protests against Richard uncle snogging Shilpa aunty.I mean, what does uncle think he was doing, kissing her in full public view and all.Tch tch.What will Sharma uncle tell Pappu when he asks what Richard uncle was doing?

"Haw betaa, yeh kya dekh rahe ho? Quick quick, change the channel.Aah, this is better.Now lets watch this educational documentary on Khajuraho...."

Yes Sir, definitely, it is a commendable effort on your part.Imagine, telling your child that Richard uncle was actually *horror of horrors* kissing poor Shilpa aunty? Yeah, committing the same atrocious sin that Pappu's mummy commits everyday when she kisses him good night? Tauba tauba.

And anyway, these things should be banned.Imagine, how can anyone do what they [those inconsequential creatures that they are] think is alright, if someone as great as your almighty highness thinks it to be wrong?!?!

Uncle's "attack on our cultural ethos" toh you protested Sir, but what really amazes me is that you still haven't come out demanding for my arrest yet.Or maybe Prerna hasn't really talked to yet.That would be strange, considering how she's already told everyone within Hindi speaking limits about my despicable escapades. Anyhow,Sir, I would like to voluntarily offer myself for arrest, since I have performed the banal sin of making my d's as curvy and intricate as possible, and I happen to have a really good friend called Disha, so isn't it obvious that I am so completely in lurve with her? I mean, what could be more blatantly obvious?!

I am very sorry for going against our culture and showing such corrupt mentality, and almost nil morality.I hope you will fittingly rebuke me.

Sigh.I am really sorry to have gone against you Sir, but as Prerna tells me, I have to bear the brunt of my horrendous actions.I hope you will take strict action against me [but please, don't burn my life size effigies, because my gigantic size might make it difficult for you to make them life size.]

With deep apologies, and profound respect,

A very shameless blogger.

Utterly nonsensicial musings of a bored bleuh-ger : Three ain't a crowd

2007-04-26T15:23:00.000+05:30

So I'm bored and this is gonna be utterly nonsensical.Ah.Here goes nothing.

1.
25th April,2007 A.D.

Carmel Convent v/s Red Roses Public School [no typos there :P]
Set one : 22-25
Set two : 16-25

Gah.So we lost.No surprises there.But this?!

Yes, millord, in addition to being battered, bruised, and shouted upon, I beg the jury to see that my client was also blinded by a super sonic projectile smacking her face and was therefore, incapable to see what she was doing.And hence, she does not need to be shouted at the very next day, and be made to take extra rounds of the sports field.And therefore, is completely at liberty to sue the school for mental agony and physical torture, not to mention child exploitation.

Over ruled??
OVER RULED?!?!
Wha-?!WHY?!?

2.

And this is the discovery of the week.
Know why Tata-Sky sells like ~~hot cakes~~ Converse high-tops?
Instead of having a child lock on channels like most other stuff, they have.....*cough* a Parental Lock!
I dunno if that is an inadvertent error or a sly marketing ploy, but ha.
*mirthless laughter*
They sure know who's boss.

3.

[UNMBB without HP? In your dreams, missy.]

Would you name your kid Narcissa? I mean, what sort of a parent [even a pure blood fanatic] would want their child to be self obsessed? And come to think of it, Narcissa Black isn't even that narcissistic if you see - the woman was more concerned about saving Draco's skin, than thinking about what the repercussions would be if Snape chinese whispered to Voldy.

And unrelated fodder for thought :

JKR: "There is a character who does manage, in desperate circumstances, to do magic quite late in life, but that is very rare..."

On her website, "there IS a significant - even crucial - answer" to the following question: How and why did Dumbledore have James' invisibility cloak?"

4.

Bored, so bored...
Bored bored bored bored
I'm so bored....

Oh c'mmon, you can always Take [P]Lite.......:P

Haze

2007-04-18T15:31:00.000+05:30

Haze Blues Bar, Priya Cinema Complex, Vasant Vihar, New Delhi

So what came first : the name or the smoke?

A Tale Of Two...

2007-04-14T21:14:00.000+05:30

Today I went for two birthday bashes.

At the 18year old's party I had a Sprite.
At the 10year old's party I had a Breezer.

At the 18year old's party, we pretended we were freak dancing, and had a laugh about it.
At the 10year old's party, the kids freak danced, and I tried to laugh at it, but couldn't.

At the 18year old's party, the Deejay played I wanna love you.
At the 10year old's party, the Deejay played I wanna fuck you.

At the 18year old's party, everyone wore normal clothes.
At the 10year old's party, everyone wore clothes that would've caused the I&B Ministry to ban the channel that showed them on grounds of not being in "good taste or decency".

And if you think I mixed up the ages,

I got a return gift at the 10 year old's birthday.

Physucks

2007-04-12T16:01:00.001+05:30

It just ain't fair.
The Commerce people get to watch movies 'cause their teachers aren't there.
The Humanities people get to loiter around the whole school 'cause their teachers are there but don't teach.
And what do WE get?

[we includes me,right now.Hopefully, I'll be able to switch to Comm by tomorrow]

Yeah, ladies and gentlemen, we get to slog it out with weirdly accented Chem teachers [an-aye-YAWNZZZ] and double Physics periods.Oh, and an English teacher who's taken it as her life's mission to complete half our book [called.....Hornbill *snorts*] before Summer hols.

Wait.
Did I say Physics?
Phy-sicks?
Tch tch.
Phy-sucks.

Especially with apparently-Oxford-educated US.
One and a quarter hours of Units and Measurements and ta-daaaa:

The Physuckian-braino Theory
-couresty Vasudha W. and Nikita N.

The mass of the brain at a specific time = B , where B is expressed in kg which is a BASE unit.

Time = t , where t is expressed in seconds which is also a BASE unit.

Mass of brain before Physucks = B₁
[NOTE: B₁ >1]

Mass of brain after Physucks = B₂

Duration of Physucks period = t

According to the PBT,
1.B₂ is a constant, equal to zero.
2.For anyone in 11B:
Rate of depletion of brain = [B₂ - B₁]/t
= kg/ s ,which is a DERIVED unit.

IMP:
Rate for 11b-ians is always negative.This shows that the mass of brain decreases with an increase in the time spent in the Physucks class.

3.For apparently-Oxford-educated-US
Rate of action on brain [B₂ - B₁]/t is always positive.
This can be explained due to the fact that mass of brain in US is close to zero at the beginning of the class.Due to the presence of a higher concentration of brain mass in the people sitting in class, namely Nik Nangia, among others, some mass diffuses into US's brain.Therefore, by the end of the class,
B₂ > zero.
Which means,
[B₂ - B₁]/t is more than zero.

*

Oh, and Nangia wanted to add a corollary, in case we get to share the [Ig] Nobel:

For calculating rate of depletion of Vasudha's brain:
B is ≥ zero.
However, for all practical purposes B_vasudha = 0.

.............................

Utterly nonsensical musings of a bored bleuh-ger : Two for joy

2007-04-10T17:18:00.001+05:30

Ahh...now this feels like home. Presenting UNMBB , with all its randomness, yet again :

1.
Finally returned to school after three months, and the only thing I've realised it that three months away from school doesn't quite make the bimbettes sane[like anything could].But anyway, first day of school, Computer Science.The CS teacher, obviously used to the lack of normal people in CS by now, tries to get out of teaching us, and drones about what we're gonna be covering this year.
"So, apart from the history of computing, we shall also be studying programming..."
-pauses, because a specimen of the aforesaid species has raised her hand.
"Yes?"
"But ma'am, uh uh uh, I thought we would make programs in class XI....?"

Sigh.I should've told her that apart from programs, we'd also be making itineraries.Something tells me she would've believed me.

2.
The Deathly Hallows' cover's been released.Now, this definitely ain't my favourite cover yet, but, I dunno if you people have noticed, there's this thing which looks uncomfortably like an elf [Dobby?Winky?Kreacher?!?!] grasping Harry's shoulder and waving this sword which looks a lot Godric Gryffindor's sword. JKR's already said they're gonna be two deaths in DH.However much I'd like to disbelieve it, the cover looks *shivers* frighteningly ominous.

[More later in the Deathly Hallows post]

Oh.OH.OH!!!!
Anyone heard the rumours?
DUMBLEDORE'S RETURNING AS AN INFERIUS!!!

3.
Contrary to her describing herself as an uh...something Martian, recent reports state what Disha actually looks like.
Don't believe me?
Read this
Disha Pandey was in the News!

4.
And.
Bangladesh is my new favourite cricket team.

And the best part? Its all our own fault.If we hadn't been hell bent on Partition [we being pre1947 Indians] [and okay, the Muslim League and Hindu Mahasabha were the ones hell bent, but ultimately everyone agreed to it.So,whatever.] then, Pakistan, India and Bangladesh would have had a common cricket team.So, India and Pakistan would still be in the WC; Sachin would still have endorsements and would hit sixes, if only, in ads;and maybe, only maybe, I wouldn't think Shoaib Akhtar was that ugly.

5.
I think insanity's come a-visiting.

*

And incidentally....

2007-04-03T18:42:00.000+05:30

Final Result for Award of Scholorship
under
National Talent Search Scheme 2006
and
National Talent Promotion Scheme 2006

Regret ! You are not selected for award of scholorship .

Regret! I was not chosen!?!?!
Sigh.
Darn man.The schol"o"rship was all I lived for.
Curse CBSE!
Curse NCERT!

........and she went to back to her humdrum life again.

Rust in Peace.

2007-03-28T14:41:00.000+05:30

Swotted.Swore.
Learnt.Forgot.
Laughed.Cried.
Tried to read Why Children Fail.
Trying to finish it before the results come out.Need the excuses.
But then, oh well.Who cares.

THEY'RE OVER!!!

As Sh-aheli said, "If Winter comes, can Spring be far behind?"
Or was it Alec Smart?
Or.........well.Don't care.Don't need to know no more.Yay.
Life's good.

The Slam Book Tag

2007-03-08T19:21:00.001+05:30

FULL NAME:
Vasudha W.Or Vasudha M. W, if you so prefer.

NICKNAME(s) :
The complete list for once.
Vasu.
Vaasu.
Vasu-sudha.
Vasusudha.
Boshundhara.[Umm.I ain't Bengali, if you're wondering.]
Mandy.
Madhubala.[& I hate you back.]
Mb.
Mikey.[Ah.Still tolerable]
Yuvi.[Not this one, no.]
Gadhera Wadhera[Thanks a bunch, shall-we]
Kid.
Vsdhaaaaaaa[Leave first syllable, exaggerate the second]

HOMETOWN:
New Delhi

BORN:
12th of August, '91.

CURRENT RESIDENCE:
My study table.Boards.Boohoo.

CROUTONS OR BACON BITS:
Croutons.Me veggie.

FAVORITE SALAD DRESSING:
None.I like my salad without dressing.Hmm....that sounds like saying I like salad nude.Uh...whatever.Rather not think about it.

DO YOU DRINK?:
Yeah.Five litres a day.Good for the skin.You're talking about water, aren't you?

SHAMPOO & CONDITIONER OR JUST CONDITIONER:
People use JUST CONDITIONER?? No siree, I go the whole hog, if you please.Shampoo, conditioner, serum.

HAVE YOU EVER GONE SKINNY DIPPING:
Okay, I'm chorofying Nitya's answer.
I don't have any skin. Just fat.

DO YOU MAKE FUN OF PEOPLE:
Who, me? No way.I just returned from a tiny cave in the Himalaya after learning pranayam from Sri Sri Sri Sri Sri Sri Sri-o-maniac.

FAVORITE COLORS:
Black.Silver.Neon blue.White.Azure.The green color of leaves with dew drops on them.

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN CONVICTED OF A CRIME:
Well.Depends on your definition of crime.The principal once caught me with dirty shoes.[NOTE:That does not imply I had dirty shoes just once.I just means I was caught once.] Now, we have canvas shoes as part of the uniform.My sentence? I had to wash those shoes right there and wear them like that the rest of the day.Sigh.
But then, that didn't deter me from not wearing dirty shoes.Hah.Its tough to bog down the unbogdownable.

ONE PILLOW OR TWO:
One.Or none.

PETS:
Well.A bunch of Homo Sapiens.

FAVORITE TYPES OF MUSIC:
Ah.Not my favourite question.I keep on having these bouts of obsession with different genres.Right now, I'm in my I-love-Pakistani-rock-mode.Immensely satisfying.And also responsible for the recent spurt in my Hindi marks.

DREAM CAR:
An S-class Merc convertible.Mind you, that's dream car.

TYPE OF CAR YOU DRIVE NOW:
Two wheel, central drive.Oiled brakes.Taped radio.
My old bike.Oh.Bicycle-vaala bike.Which has being lying redundant since four years.

WHAT TYPE OF CAR WAS YOUR FIRST CAR:
Working, to say the least.At least it was when I came back from the hospital after being born.[This sounds weird.I came back....after being born.Jeez.]Lucky me.When my mum and dad got married, and were coming back post-wedding, the car broke down, and my dad had to get down, in all his wedding finery and push it ahead.Hmm.Must've been a weird sight.

TOOTHPASTE:
Pepsodent. Forced by my dentist.Easy for him.He's being paid to promote the brand.How'd he know how it feels brushing with a sickly sweet toothpaste?

FAVORITE FOOD:
Edible stuff.Usually.

DO YOU GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS:
Yeah.Most of the time.

FAVORITE TOWN TO CHILL IN:
Yellowknife, Canada.Mean monthly temp. -29.9C.
Yellowknife.Interesting name.

FAVORITE ICE CREAM:
HCF at Nirula's.Sumtiliciously yum.

FAVORITE SOFT DRINK:
Hydrogen Dioxide.

FAVORITE TYPE OF FAMILY GAME tO PLAY:
Scrabble.Or Monopoly.

WHAT IS YOUR BAD TIME of DAY:
Afternoons.

FAVORITE TIME OF YEAR:
Last day of the exams.

ADIDAS, NIKE, OR REEBOK:
Adidas for sneakers.Reebok for hoodies.Nike for nuffin'

FAVORITE PERFUME OR COLOGNE:
Anything not sugary or woody, I like more of fresh, cool scents.

FAVORITE WEBSITE:
Mugglenet, Shurtugal (mostly empty though) , anywhere my overactive mouse pointer takes me.

FAVORITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL:
Surprise, surprise.Hindi.Just when I'm seven days away from my last ever Hindi exam.Least fav subjects? English, English, English, English, Biology, Chemistry,Geometry,Civics,Geography.

FAVORITE MOVIE YOU HAVE SEEN RECENTLY OR FAVORITE TYPE OF MOVIE: Recently?That's a laugh.I don't remember the last movie I saw.Oh, wait.Dhoom 2.Abhishek Bachchan looked about as fit as me.

LEAST FAVORITE SUBJECT:
Look above

FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC
DRINK :
Considering my expertise in alcoholic drinks extends to Breezers, Wine Coolers and a teeny weeny sip of white wine[all had illegally.I can't legally drink for 10 more years] ,I'd say Blueberry Breezers.

FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH: Soccer.Or Tennis.

MOST HUMILIATING MOMENT:Not most, but definitely the most recent one.Last week, at my cousin's wedding, my mum wanted a coke.Coca-cola, that'd be, case you were wondering.So anyhow, I strode forward and instead of going to the non alcoholic counter, I went to the alcoholic counter.Totally unaware, I asked for a Coke.
And this guy goes like, "Normal?"
So me, obviously answered,"Yeah.Obviously!!".
And the guy went all red and answered,"Uh.I meant without the ice.".
----->.<---- CRAZIEST OR SILLIEST PERSON YOU KNOW: Me. WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN THE OPPOSITE SEX: Literacy, first.And other stuff. SAY ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU: Ahh....Nitya.Its kinda tough to say something nice about some one I hated with a vengeance once and was hated back with the same passion.Hehe.Nah....we're pretty amicable now.Nitya's nice 'cause............. she isn't ever afraid to ever to do her own thing.She says what she means and means what she says. PERSON YOU SENT THIS TO, WHO IS LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND: I haven't "sent" this to anyone yet.Let's see.I shall send this to.....Dish, Aanchal, Prerna,and anyone else who wants to do this, go ahead.Not copyrighted/lefted/centered in any way.

Multiple Personality Disorder?

2007-02-22T19:14:00.000+05:30

Well.Well.Well.
Now, we all know celebrities are well, pretty crazy to put it mildly.Substantive proof?
Look no further:

Sachin Tendulkar during a fancy dress competition in college.

Oh well.Happy Valentine's Day after all.

2007-02-14T19:31:00.000+05:30

Fine so I couldn't be all anti-Val's the whole day after all.Not after seeing Shiv Sena people literally raid the parks in Lucknow on the telly.Making all the guys there bend over and murga-fy.
And I thought we were a free country.
[Were, not are.]

Anyway, Orkut's been decked up.....

.........and so has Google.

Hmm.
*sighs dejectedly*
So I lose.

Happy Val's Day!!

to the ze love-struck foo in particular.

Lackofinspirationitus continues

2007-02-12T20:33:00.000+05:30

Here's something I got off Shayeri's blog...

Gotta love it......

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

Severe lackofinspirationitus?

2007-02-05T15:21:00.000+05:30

Surprise surprise....guess who's just been named among one of the sweetest 16 stars 16 and under?

Not me, silly....her.

--Emma Watson has made Sweet 16 Magazine's list of the "16 Sweetest Stars 16 and Under." The list honors talented young celebrities who have avoided the Hollywood party scene and are great role models. Congratulations, Emma!

And yeah, according to The Telegraph....

Helpline for fearful fans of Harry Potter

By Nigel Reynolds, Arts Correspondent

Waterstone's is looking to set up a helpline for fans of Harry Potter because two important characters in JK Rowling's saga will die in the last instalment to be published this summer.

The book chain forecast that Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows would become not only the best-selling Harry Potter title but the biggest selling book in history. But that may not bring unalloyed happiness to the nation because of Rowling's warning about the deaths.

Debbie Williams, of Waterstone's, said yesterday: "This could be a similar moment to when Take That split up — there could be a lot of upset teenagers out there. We are looking to set up a helpline for them."

And lastly, this is what the New Blogger Tour has on the first page.

Don't miss the Header :D

BOARDS. Pfft.

2007-02-01T11:23:00.001+05:30

In the abyss
With darkness closing around me;In a bottomless chasm,
Aching to be set free.

Slayed by the diabolo;
Solitary.Ruinous.Coerced.
I traverse the hell hole,
Compelled by fate; cursed.

Boards.

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And teddy bears with red bows......

2007-01-29T16:49:00.000+05:30

Celebrating festivals seems to have become the new obsession of the country. Apart from festivals , we've also taken to celebrating the Days of Occasions. So now you have Mother's Day, Father's Day, Mother's Father's Day, Father's Mother's Day, Uncle Tom's Day, Uncle Tom's Cabin's Day, Little Miss Muffet's Day and so on.......

The BIG new occasion in town, big enough to make you f-u-r-g-e-t that you're practically edging past 33.33(recurring)% is.....*hold ya breath* VALENTINE'S DAY!!!.

Now, normal Valentine's Day parlance is something like this:

You wake up groggily, switch on the TV.What hits you first? A news anchor wearing an obnoxious-looking red suit, looking as if he's just won KBC (with SRK, mind you :D), cheerily trying to get you as infused with the "spirit" of the Day.The news set is done up in red (but of course, they need to show they know what the colour of the day is)

Sample news on one the Hindi ones:
Aur aaj desh ke kone kone main Valentine's Day manaya ja rahaa hai. Deepak, hamen bataaiye ki Dilli main kya ho raha hai...
And Deepak, wearing a red tee himself, rants off about how he got his girlfriend a spanking new greeting card (hmph.what else?) and how everyone is going to attend such spiffing do's and have such a sporadicly "fun" time.

Sorry, but leave me out of this.
I don't want a white coloured teddy-bear (of all things) witha red bow.
I don't want red coloured heart-shaped balloons.
I don't want those "The Ultimate Valentine's Day Collection" CDs that materialize out of thin air around Feb the fourteenth.

If I sound like a Shiv Sena loyalist going on about the 'Americanization' of the youth, lemme clarify.
I do appreciate that you'd like to take time out for someone you love, but please, does it have to involve Valentines Day special edition newspapers?
You love someone, go tell them, but for goodness' sake, don't thrust your I Love You messages on my face.

And finally,
Celebrate all you want, but frankly, this isn't celebration.

And don't expect me to join in.

(written in a rare anti-social mood, frequently seen after exam results)

But what IS normal?

2007-01-18T11:30:00.000+05:30

She knew what normal meant. But did her life?
Normal was having a perfectly....uh.....normal day.But her life said normal was being ticked off by the teachers at school everyday, hearing them make snide remarks about her and watching them smirk in the bubble of quiet satisfaction.
She knew she couldn't change all that.

But then, she knew of the things she could change.
Let that badgering tweet of a teacher drone on about how extremely appalled she was by her long nails.Let her rant on about her dirty uniform.Did she know how much time it had taken her to get it dirty in that exact way?But she wouldn't care would she?She was no human after all.The twittering idiot was a teacher.

She knew she could get everyone against her.Sure, they'd mutiny.
They'd bunk all her classes.They'd throw stuff at her.They'd do whatever she said.
And a slow, curling smirk spread its cunning claws on her face.

The shouting in the background stopped and jolted her to reality.Aww.She'd forgive the poor creature one last time.She still had the fracture on from last time's rendezvous.

So she thought she'd give her life a rest from screwing up everything for her, and thought about how considerate she'd become for a change.Life had a weird way of making her everything she didn't want to be.Wouldn't last long, she thought to herself.Let those zarking Boards get over and she'd show them.She'd show them all.

The recess bell rang and broke her out of her reverie.Those chit-chattering prissies hurried out of the prison they called 'class'.
So what else was new.
She took in the scene she was now accustomed to.

She'd go to school.
Go to the last seat in the row next to the wall.
The single one.
The teacher would come.
The teacher shout at her.
She'd put up a suitably remorseful face.
The teacher would go.
And so it would happen in the next 8 periods.
And her un-needed existence would go on.

She looked up.They were coming back in again.Rushing, more like.Suckers they were, to be so afraid of the class teacher, that they were shifting to their assigned places.Gawrdie.Such wimps.

One of their tribe came and sat in front of her.As if she cared.
The gal shouted halfway across the classroom for another girl to throw her bag over.
She was way too unconcerned to see what was happening.She didn't care, remember?

THWACK!!!!
The bag hit her squarely (or whatever shape the bag was) in the face.
She thought a person who was pretty good at throwball in PE would be able to throw a bag on target, at least.But no, this was HER life.
She brushed away the broken shards of her spectacle-lenses.The optician had assured her that the new-and-advanced (an oxymoron, she had noted at the time) plastic lenses would be completely fall-proof.She should've asked about their being High School-proof.
Curse Murphy.

[No, her life didn't suddenly turn all bright and rosy. She wasn't born off Hans Christian Anderson's pen.This is the twenty-first century.You can either have blogs or Anderson.Take your pick.Can't decide? Mwahaha.I get to choose.I choose blogs.]

And so she trudged back home.

While walking to the Optician's, she realised it wasn't such a curse after all.The less she saw her unnecessary existence, the better.But then, she had long become comfy in her coerced life.

*

Drat.It was a Monday.The market was closed.She should've known.

*

She walked ahead, the only speck of dismalness in the road caressed by the azure sky.
The bus came.
She got on, after fumbling a bit on the steps.

*

The same routine.
She reached school.
Walked up to her class.
Went and plonked her bag on the last seat in the row next to the wall, the single one.
Somehow, she felt, in an inexplicable way, her life might just turn out to be normal.The real normal.Not the way she thought.The way everyone else thought.

A girl came and sat in front of her.Someone she'd never noticed.
The girl turned around.
"You....you've got.........Your eyes are actually brown", the girl said.

She felt a wry smile creeping up her face.She looked down, certain that her life had missed out on some vital English classes.

***********************

And another one bites the dust.....

2006-12-31T16:23:00.000+05:30

Happy New Year!!

May all your troubles last as long as your New Year resolutions!

Ow.

2006-11-12T19:50:00.000+05:30

My butt is aching after sitting on a wooden plank-chair for three and a half hours straight.

More later.

EDIT:

The full story? You bet.

Though this is not an attempt to expose the insane state of affairs at weird-ish NTSE centres in Delhi, I have an even more weird-ish feeling it just might come close.

12 November, 2006 A.D.
2:00 AM.
I trudge back home bleary-eyed after spending two and a half hours trying to play football with a bunch of guys 1 x 100000000000000000^1000000000 better than me.

7:00 AM.
Moi gets up, looks for school uniform, calls up 5 people to ask if they are going for the NTSE.Is suddenly hit with the relevation that I just might be the only one giving it.

9:00 AM.
I reach Govt Boys Senior Secondary School, Minto Road, just as it says on the admit card.

9:15 AM.
The centre has been changed to Govt Something-Something School, Mata-Something Road, just as it says on the admit card.Not.

9:30 AM.
I am in room no. 12 hopefully with people from school, if they decide to turn up.

9:45 AM.
I am sitting on a wooden plank/chair, next to a wispy-ish 8thie from Lady Irwin School.
I am also being shouted at by the Invigilator for sitting at the wrong seat.
I am also being asked to get up, look up my correct seat number and find it.
I sit at the same seat again because it is the correct seat.
I am shouted at again and made to look for the correct seat.Again.
I am shouted at for the third time AND made to look for the correct seat AGAIN (does it matter that I am ALREADY sitting on it??)
My dad is shouted for being in the room.Does it matter that they are parents of five other kids there??
I think that the Invigilator does not like me.

10:00AM.
MAT begins.

11:30 AM.
MAT ends.
I try not to look at the Invigilator as she collects my question paper.

11:35 AM.
SAT begins. By now, my butt is aching (badly) because I am still sitting on the wooden plank/chair. The fans are off. Every 17.5 mins, I can hear the sound of a train passing.The Invigilator is also pissing me off.Because she happens to think I am some snooty kid.Which I am not.

11:59 AM.
The SAT sucks.Majorly. Super majorly.
I have resigned myself to picking out mistakes in the question paper and irritating the Invigilator by pointing out every single one of them to her, then asking in my most innocuous voice whether she can get them clarified.

12:12PM.
Shruti asks the Invigilator if the people who have finished the paper can leave.The Invigilator says no.
A groan resounds through the un-classroom.

12:56 PM.
Contrary to what Disha expresses on the C-Box, I am not in love with my paper.I am just scouring it for any questions I might know.

1:00 PM
Shruti asks the Invigilator again.The Invigilator says no again.A groan resounds through the un-classroom again.

1:10 PM
The NTSE is over.
A horde of people rushes out of room 12.
Freedom! Liberty! Tyranny is dead!

And so ends a chapter in Vasudha's life.

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